Still not one of the reviews I owe

So, I’m still behind. In my own defense, in the last week or so I:

Flew12 hours in a mask (9 in the air, the rest in airports)
Remembered just how close LAX is to a scene from The Walking Dead
Snorkeled with sea turtles
Discovered the joy of POG (that’s passion fruit, orange, and guava juice mixed)
Watched a sparrow steal a banana macadamia nut muffin out of Grandma’s hand while she was trying to eat it. She was not amused…I was wheeze-laughing.
Married one of my best friends and her now-husband with my toes in the sand and the wind blowing my hair into perfect Medusa style (please note, I mean “married” in the action verb version here…I did the marrying, I did not get married)
Swam in a waterfall pool in the middle of the jungle
Saw the oldest banyan tree in the oldest hotel on the island, and was awed
Watched surfers do their thing, and decided my inability to stand on a paddleboard means surfing lessons, just like the helicopter tour, has to wait until next time when I’m in better shape.
Swam in the ocean and let go of some unpleasant emotional shit I’d been hanging onto…waves are as good as wind for that, and Oahu has plenty of both.
Spent time in the only Royal Palace in the United States
Ate Dole Whip at the Dole pineapple farm (once was enough)
Ate a poke bowl (omg I could eat that every day for the rest of my life)
Had Duke’s fish at Duke’s restaurant…did not see anyone from Hawaii 5-0.
Did not see Magnum P.I. However, I did see the helicopter a couple times.
Ate poi and roast pig in the rain at a luau while Grandma and I watched a Samoan chief put on a fantastic show
Burned my feet on beach sand
Shopped way more than necessary
Discovered that butt-floss swimsuits are back in style (ugh, no thank you)
Learned the correct way to pronounce “Hawaii”
Started and finished 2 books (great, now I’m behind on reviews by 5)
Flew home, 12 hours in a mask (9 flying time), overnight
Stayed up 34 hours with only a short nap on the first 5 hour flight
Saw one of my favorite people perform in the Hastings Marching Band
Came back to dogs who missed me so much Minerva puked on the floor, and a cat who was pissed he hadn’t gotten to go outside in a week (she who takes care of my house while I’m gone doesn’t allow cat-wandering, understandably)
Spent the first of three four-hour sessions with Matt at Aloha Monkey (despite the name, not in Hawaii). I love stage 1, even though those teeth were a bitch: