Tag: tube full of AWESOME

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I’ve Been Working, I Swear

Jess1 Comment

I have a couple of pending posts...but in the meantime, if you don't read The Bloggess all the time anyway (WHY DON'T YOU??) go read this. Because it made my crappy week at work one bazillion times better.http://thebloggess.com/2014/01/the-lion-and-the-unicorn-were-fighting-for-the-crown-and-for-my-heart/You're welcome.

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Bored Sheep Farmers vs Ohio State Marching Band. Shepherds WIN.

Jess2 Comments

Remember the super cool college football marching band that made itself into a T-Rex that ate a dude? Wait. Read that sentence again. My life is fucking weird. http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/DNe0ZUD19EE&source=udsAnyway, this? Well. I do believe a group of really bored sheep farmers (aka shepherds) with some astounding choreography (and engineering) skills and really well trained sheepdogs… Continue reading Bored Sheep Farmers vs Ohio State Marching Band. Shepherds WIN.

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And Thus I Consider My Blog a Win.

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Search term that produced my blog today:"trampled by Xena"Win. I'm proud.I'll probably do a real post tomorrow. Today I'm basking in Xena-ness.

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UPDATED: Yahoo Seems To Think I’m a Lonely and Confused Dude (or in the midst of a spiritual and sexual identity crisis)

Jess3 Comments

Oh Yahoo spam mail, you do make my week awesome: Yesterday I got five separate invitations to join JDate. That would be the Jewish Dating service.Today (so far) I've received three Christian Mingle offers. And four different penis-enhancement-emails (viagra/cialis drugs, enlargements)Evidently I have a whole catalog of issues: small penis size, under-performing penis action (not surprising… Continue reading UPDATED: Yahoo Seems To Think I’m a Lonely and Confused Dude (or in the midst of a spiritual and sexual identity crisis)

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SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

Jess3 Comments

Because who the fuck wouldn't watch a bad Saturday night movie with a flesh-eating-attack-unicorn?? People, it's goddamned genius: the ultimate symbol of innocence and purity ravaging a city with impalement carnagey death.  Somebody who's not me and can actually write scripts: get on that shit.I wonder if the Snakipeder Army could defend against Carnicorn...hmm.Also, the… Continue reading SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

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This Is Not A Post: NOW READ THIS

Jess1 Comment

I have a post in-progress of a story I'm working on...but to be honest there was too much wine Doctor Who shenanigans last weekend and I didn't get it finished.In the meantime, I spent quite a bit of time yesterday drooling over books reading at Barnes & Noble yesterday, and while Husband finished a very… Continue reading This Is Not A Post: NOW READ THIS

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And So, I Embrace Google’s Opinion Me

Jess2 Comments

Remember how everyone tells me their sex and relationship issues? Did you know my husband is moving to Texas for 11 months next year for school (I am not, for financial and practical reasons...meaning, I'd like to keep my job until I get to the point they'll let me work from home full time, I… Continue reading And So, I Embrace Google’s Opinion Me

Groupon May Be Trying To Kill Me
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Groupon May Be Trying To Kill Me

Jess5 Comments

First of all, I'm amused that the ad at the top of my Yahoo mail today is for makeup, when I rarely (if ever) WEAR makeup and can NEVER be called "haute" in any way.Also, in MN the word "Haute" is rarely used at all. When it is (recently popping up in food magazines and… Continue reading Groupon May Be Trying To Kill Me

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Cosmic Lost Socks Will Now Be Washed, Fluffed and Folded.

Jess10 Comments

Remember the Soul Retriever?Apparently she now provides "aura cleansing" as an additional service.I'm unclear as to whether she cleans the pieces of the soul she retrieves for you, or if she just does an overall swiffering. Personally, I would think any retrieved piece of the soul would need cleansing, because you just don't know where… Continue reading Cosmic Lost Socks Will Now Be Washed, Fluffed and Folded.

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Fest Food AND The Weekly Stupid Wrap Up

Jess3 Comments

I realize some of these should have pictures, but ultimately I'm too busy either laughing (or gagging) to do so. I know most of my Fest posts are about people being dumb: to start this post I'd like to suggest the tastiest things I've found at the MN Renaissance Festival. Deep Fried Jalapeno Cream Cheese… Continue reading Fest Food AND The Weekly Stupid Wrap Up