Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate for me…Spoiler

So Pirates 3 did NOT provide the Disney-like fairy-tale ending I craved. I’m disturbed by the relatively tragic ending, and the “wait until after the credits” advice was not enough to replace my general sense of sadness upon exiting the theater. I actually dreamed about it that night, and not only because Orlando Bloom is ridiculously hot in black silk.

Perhaps it’s the lack of closure: to this day I’ll have nightmares if I watch a supernatural/monster horror movie and the evil entity doesn’t die in the end. When I was a child I saw exactly half of Tremors on tv. I wasn’t allowed to see the end because 8pm was bedtime when I was 10. For the entire summer I RAN from my front porch to the barn, convinced that if I could just make it to concrete the ishy, girl-eating worms couldn’t get me. Of course, my horse would announce any danger when I was riding, so that was never an issue, but I didn’t set food on the grass for months.

I’m nearly 30 and haven’t changed: The Grudge? I was up for three days. I actually woke up hearing that horrific sound the ghost made coming from some dark corner in my room. Turned out the dog snores.

Back to Johnny Depp’s protuding probiscus and the un-Disney ending. I’m unsatisfied! It’s been nearly a week and I remain downright depressed about the fate of the lovers, because seeing my husband once every 10 years would be damned disheartening. If he’s immortal, is she also? If not, what a horrible fate for both of them! Jesus, they FINALLY get married and get some, only to find out he’s only allowed to see her once every 10 years? I find the lack of details irritating, and hope the whole thing is hinting at another sequel instead of leaving it at that.

Often legends are legends because horrible things happen to the hero and heroine, but dammit, there should be SOME closure! Maybe that’s why I’m so fascinated with Nora Roberts books…she takes horrible lovelorn legends and RESOLVES them with happy endings. And who couldn’t use a happy ending now and again?

Captaining the Flying Dutchman clearly agrees with Will Turner, though…good God I needed kleenex to wipe the drool. I’ve already informed my husband that I won’t rest until he’s in possession of a black silk pirate costume…Yum!

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