Apathy Abounds…

I don’t know if it’s the heat or what, but I’ve been excessively uninterested in life lately, much to the hubby’s dismay and, I’m sure, irritation. Ugh. haven’t worked on the book, haven’t worked out, haven’t wanted to work in general, or play, or do much of anything that doesn’t involve emulating a pillow on the couch.

I could say that’s all going to change as of right now, but to be fair it’s about 90 degrees outside today and instead of playing in the sun I’m hiding in my room, so I guess that’s not an accurate statement after all. I did, however, apply for my dream job today at Llewellyn Publishing. In all fairness I’m probably not qualified enough to get my foot in the door, but just sending in a resume made me feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to fix this whole work situation. The thing is, I’ve been at my job now for just shy of 7 years. I get paid way too much for what I do (rough, I know) and have most excellent benefits, but over the years I’ve discovered the REASON for this particular company’s most excellent pay and bennies is that nobody wants to do the work! Ugh…I went from plumbing (an active, project-based job that gave me a sense of accomplishment etc) to pushing paper, and I think that’s the crux of the situation. I push paper. A lot of paper, and unfortunatly I’m not an accountant who gets all excited by crunching numbers and such. Lordy I can’t even tell you how much I wish I was! My boss is: it’s clear she loves her job every day she’s there…which is what I want.

Is that really a GenX thing? To be dissatisfied in a job, no matter how good it is, if it’s not THE DREAM job? People my grandparents’ age stayed in one crappy job for 40 years for the pension and pay, regardless if they liked it or not, because it was a job. Do we simply have too many positions floating around and too many options now-a-days? If so, I’m determined to find a niche where I’m not dreading the alarm clock every day. i’d rather bee short on cash for a while than stay somewhere that pays well and I’m miserable. I suppose that’s monumentally selfish, and maybe it’s not right, but every few months I go through a long period of loathing of my life, and 99% of that comes from what I do for a living. A girl with big dreams of helping people somehow or making a difference in the world can’t live on pushing paper alone!

Hahahahaha…the irony of that statement…the job I just applied for was MANUSCRIPT EDITOR. Pushing paper indeed.

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