There is nothing I could possibly come up with for a title better than that.
Today’s text conversation between my sisters and I today. Punctuation fixed (it’s hard to punctuate on text properly!)
S1: We got a new furnace finally!
Me: Yay! Just in time for -0 this week. Whew!!
S2: Nice! I have a cadaver bone in my mouth. Stay warm people.
Me: WHAT. THE. F. You eat dead people??
S1: That is literally amazing!!! What if it’s from a criminal and it makes you go rogue?!?
Me: What if it’s from a super secret agent spy and you get all Bourne Identity?
Mother: Don’t give her any ideas!!!
S2: Lol sickos
Me: If you have a sudden calling to Catholic missions in Calcutta, it’s Mother Theresa’s bone.
S1: and if it’s a craving for fava beans and a good Chianti…well…**
Me: This entire conversation belongs on the blog. How are you feeling after your…procedure? (Every possible way I tried to write that using “bone” sounded sick, FYI.”
S2: LMAO yes, just sore. Otherwise went fine. 🙂
Me: If I write a haunted cadaver bone implant SyFy channel D movie I”ll be sure it says “inspired by REDACTED: S2” and give you 1/2 of the $10 I get for the script. Mwahahahaha!
Of course, I couldn’t stop there…I mentioned it to my co-worker (who also writes). She immediately jumped all over the idea of a haunted cadaver bone in your jaw that haunts you or makes you do bad things, and the only way out is to remove the bone. Hence the SyFy channel D movie script plan.
*Oh yes, I know EXACTLY from whom I inherited my disturbed sense of humor.
**If you don’t know what this references, first of all WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Second: go out immediately and rent/stream/watch The Silence of the Lambs.
And invest in coffee, because you won’t sleep for a bit.
And in other news, today in the office I’ve discussed guns in depth with the new guy, confirmed to a co-worker that Bermudians do, indeed, wear 3 piece suits with Bermuda shorts (and socks up to their knees) instead of pants, and just overheard my boss talking about opening wine bottles with a shoe.
I’m not entirely sure what universe I’m in today, but it’s fucking cool and I’d like to stay a while.