A few random weirds (yes, I'm using that as a noun) from the week. These are in no particular order, and to be honest the sandpaper rubbing my throat and the golf ball lymph nodes in my neck are distracting me from a real post. It's time for more meds...and a nap. Thanks to the… Continue reading My Husband: The Great Sith Hunter…and other random weird.
All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Things I've learned since moving to Texas: I have an accent. I am amused. Ya. Youbetcha.Kolaches. Look them up: they are not a sneeze, despite what you may be thinking. Weird...but I'm planning to try the bacon/egg/cheese version. Someone explain to me WHAT THE FUCK SKITTERED across my bathroom floor at 3am? 3am is the… Continue reading All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Moving proves feet can scream (so can that weird curve in your hand that connects your thumb to pointer finger).
I have a neat spot in my hand where the skin just decided "dude, I'm done with you" and split. Just...split. Thanks a lot, skin. Also: you guys, someone found my blog by searching "do they share spouses at renaissance festivals." I have a long list of things to blog about, including (but not limited… Continue reading Moving proves feet can scream (so can that weird curve in your hand that connects your thumb to pointer finger).
Hmm…I think not, Yahoo.
As per usual, the spam in my Yahoo mail is conflicting. 1) OurTime.com dating service. Because apparently I'm old.* 2) Notice to Appear...in court (with a single name signature and a zip file). Um, no. 3) Hair Restoration offers. Because I'm bald and old, and going to court. 4) Various life insurance policy offers from multiple insurance companies. Because… Continue reading Hmm…I think not, Yahoo.
Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
In the past couple of weeks we've packed up all our shit, loaded two very anxious dogs into the back of the truck, and caravanned ourselves from Minnesota to Texas. Between the job I started the Monday after we got here and the living in-between-houses situation, I couldn't get my blog updated since we left.… Continue reading Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
"Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"
It's true, I've been watching some LeeLoo Dallas: Multipass* while packing.I forgot how much I hate moving, even if we do have weirdo neighbors. There's a lot of crying and drooling in my house (by the dogs, of course...I don't drool when I'm crying. Maybe while sleeping, but there hasn't been a lot of that… Continue reading "Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"
Dear Minnesota: Buh-Bye Then!
Juice boxes for adults. I'd like a case, please. So, man gets hit by drunk fuck assmonkey and nearly croaks. Man recovers, decides life's way too short to continue doing what he's been doing (just getting by) and wants to follow his passions. Man also sick as fuck about the frozen tundra's endless miserable winter. Man finds the only… Continue reading Dear Minnesota: Buh-Bye Then!
The Stealthy Snakipeder Army.
The snow is finally (mostly) gone in my yard, and what's left is just the ghostly evidence of the Snakipeder invasion. The dogs attempted valiantly to reduce their numbers over the winter: digging furiously and pouncing like giant (and unwieldy) cats on invisible critters beneath the snowpack.There was a whole goddamn BASE of them in the… Continue reading The Stealthy Snakipeder Army.
Monday is for…Face-Rending Owl Muppets
To begin your week, I give you True Facts About The Owl.Because they disguise themselves as Muppets.Thank you to my friend Angie over at Is This Where You Want to be When Raptor Jesus Comes? for referring me to zefrank1 at YouTube. I now follow this dude, because I CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/XeFxdkaFzRA&source=udsIt's as good as Chewbacca… Continue reading Monday is for…Face-Rending Owl Muppets
Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
Today, nestled in the innocuous Groupon email offers for tasty dinners, pedicures, and odd products, there was a super awesome opportunity for cheap Skydiving.Let's not focus on how I'd rather pay full price for a death-defying activity for now. I'm not against skydiving: I'd be interested except I'd barf on the poor tandem person I'm… Continue reading Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
No Pithy Phrase 