Once again it's nearly time for the MN Renaissance Festival to begin. I've worked at Fest now for twelve years. I've been a t-shirt-and-mug-pusher, a beer wench, a balloon blower, a calligrapher, a gate guard, and even an entire BAND for the bellydancers (that's right, I OWNED running that ipod, bitches).And still after all that… Continue reading UPDATED AGAIN (WTF?): Um, That’s MRS. Titts, Actually.
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Why Kristen Stewart isn’t the devil
I made some fantastically stupid mistakes in my teens and twenties. I managed to stay out of jail and brothels, but I still had plenty of asshole moments. For instance: I skipped 90% of my lecture hall classes for the first two years of college. I tried to have a one night stand with a guy… Continue reading Why Kristen Stewart isn’t the devil
I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
This post is likely ok for work, but not safe for prudes or children. If you're either, go away.I'm an introvert.If you're a Meyers Briggs aficionado, I'm usually an INFP...meaning I'm an introverted intuitive feeling perceptor (I don't remember what the N means, and I'm too lazy to look it up). What the fuck does that… Continue reading I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
My knee is no longer jerking.
It took me a few days to think through my reactions to the Aurora, CO shootings and NOT write a knee-jerk-reaction post. I saw much of the following (in a zillion variations) over the weekend on Twitter, Facebook, and various news outlets: 1) "Why were there children at an R-rated movie at midnight anyway?"2) "This… Continue reading My knee is no longer jerking.
UPDATED: Dirty Yodaisms and Holy Balls
Someday I'm likely going to have to pay these people for the shit they come up with to entertain me during the day. Indeed, in an attempt to make me laugh inappropriately during meetings today, I received the following text messages: Z: Coworker X told me a bit ago that he would rather have sex… Continue reading UPDATED: Dirty Yodaisms and Holy Balls
Why I Bellydance (This is not a funny post. You probably don’t want to read it).
So I'm six feet tall. This has relevance, promise. By the time I was in fourth grade I was taller than everyone else AND I was getting boobs, because nature decided I needed multiple targets for the bullies in school. Since I was about eight I've been a pretty consistent failure at being a feminine… Continue reading Why I Bellydance (This is not a funny post. You probably don’t want to read it).
"I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
Apparently some of those shoes/stuff/clothing "membership" sites (which are really just another way to fill your inbox with crap you'll rarely buy but are fabulous time-wasters at work) also hock discount "personal massagers." Discount sex toys. DISCOUNT.My good friend recently signed up on a clothing-membership site. For clothes. Today she said "Why am I being stalked… Continue reading "I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
I fought the Con and the Con won
Fourth of July weekend in Minnesota doesn't generally involve BBQs, beach, or patriotic shenanigans for the hubs and me: for the past decade or so we've spent every 4th at CONvergence, the best, craziest, most fucked up, weirdest gathering of people I usually see all year. It's fabulous and mental, even more so than Renaissance Festival. And… Continue reading I fought the Con and the Con won
UPDATED: Warning: This Post Contains Coworker GIBBERISH
Writing doesn't pay any of my bills: I write because if I didn't I'd wither away into bitterdom. Yes, I just invented a word. I'm that awesome. Or mental. Probably mental.In my I'm-paid-to-sit-at-this-computer hours, I'm a business analyst in the medical insurance industry. Sounds boring as hell, doesn't it? Sometimes it is (generally those are days… Continue reading UPDATED: Warning: This Post Contains Coworker GIBBERISH
I am Immodest and Uppity.
It took me a few days to blog about this because the whole situation just utterly pissed me off. Bear with me. Recently some jackass on Facebook posted a meme that said (paraphrased, because I refuse to spread that meme around): "Dear Girls, If you don't want the attention of pigs, don't dress immodestly. -… Continue reading I am Immodest and Uppity.
No Pithy Phrase 