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UPDATED: Yahoo Seems To Think I’m a Lonely and Confused Dude (or in the midst of a spiritual and sexual identity crisis)

Oh Yahoo spam mail, you do make my week awesome: Yesterday I got five separate invitations to join JDate. That would be the Jewish Dating service.Today (so far) I've received three Christian Mingle offers. And four different penis-enhancement-emails (viagra/cialis drugs, enlargements)Evidently I have a whole catalog of issues: small penis size, under-performing penis action (not surprising… Continue reading UPDATED: Yahoo Seems To Think I’m a Lonely and Confused Dude (or in the midst of a spiritual and sexual identity crisis)

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And So, I Embrace Google’s Opinion Me

Remember how everyone tells me their sex and relationship issues? Did you know my husband is moving to Texas for 11 months next year for school (I am not, for financial and practical reasons...meaning, I'd like to keep my job until I get to the point they'll let me work from home full time, I… Continue reading And So, I Embrace Google’s Opinion Me

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Groupon May Be Trying To Kill Me

First of all, I'm amused that the ad at the top of my Yahoo mail today is for makeup, when I rarely (if ever) WEAR makeup and can NEVER be called "haute" in any way.Also, in MN the word "Haute" is rarely used at all. When it is (recently popping up in food magazines and… Continue reading Groupon May Be Trying To Kill Me

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I’m Too Lazy To Write Two Posts: Cross Posting "Dear UnSubtle Gym Rat: My Crotch Is Not For You

While I mostly keep my other blog just to track my progress in my personal self-torture adventures, tonight's fun at the gym made me chuckle when I re-read it. If you don't find it amusing, that's cool: I'm likely high on something...like muscle pain. Or idiots. Dear Unsubtle Gym Rat...

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Townhome Twits: Episode Brothel. Yes, I saved this for last.

So I believe I told the Baba Yaga story about the old woman who sold her house for pennies a few years ago, yes?This ties to the brothel thing, I swear.Directly across from Baba Yaga's unit is a home that's flipped five or six times since we moved in. The last actual owner who lived… Continue reading Townhome Twits: Episode Brothel. Yes, I saved this for last.

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Cosmic Lost Socks Will Now Be Washed, Fluffed and Folded.

Remember the Soul Retriever?Apparently she now provides "aura cleansing" as an additional service.I'm unclear as to whether she cleans the pieces of the soul she retrieves for you, or if she just does an overall swiffering. Personally, I would think any retrieved piece of the soul would need cleansing, because you just don't know where… Continue reading Cosmic Lost Socks Will Now Be Washed, Fluffed and Folded.

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Random Crap (or I’m too cranky and lazy to think up a clever title).

I'm having sort of a horrid week. Car accident (and a shop that seems...well, stupid. Is it SO HARD to call the number I gave you, the ONLY number I gave you? Apparenltly it is: they called an out-of-service number instead, because ridiculous), arguments, washing machine that leaks...I've about had it. Therefore I give you… Continue reading Random Crap (or I’m too cranky and lazy to think up a clever title).

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Fest Food AND The Weekly Stupid Wrap Up

I realize some of these should have pictures, but ultimately I'm too busy either laughing (or gagging) to do so. I know most of my Fest posts are about people being dumb: to start this post I'd like to suggest the tastiest things I've found at the MN Renaissance Festival. Deep Fried Jalapeno Cream Cheese… Continue reading Fest Food AND The Weekly Stupid Wrap Up

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No Ma’am, Bees Don’t Have Teeth.

Another weekend sitting at the First Aid gate at Renaissance Festival. Another weekend of things. Saturday a drunk (sigh) woman tried to impale her head on a fence post. She succeeded in splitting her lip from nostril down so thoroughly she likely needed multiple sets of stitches. Someone thought First Aid should have an oxygen… Continue reading No Ma’am, Bees Don’t Have Teeth.

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Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.

Last year at this time I found amusement in the various hospital oddities that I focused on while husband was in the ICU. It's really weird to think that today, one year ago, I was hanging out in a hospital room with a broken, unconscious spouse and no idea what the hell was going to… Continue reading Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.