So the auto fill when I put the “I” in the title bar for this post put “Interesting guy looking for interesting girl.” Um, yeah…

and for some reason the AC adaptor for this laptop keeps loosening without any sort of notice, so suddnely the screen goes on powersaver mode and dims a little. This laptop: it’s a TOSHIBA in case anyone’s intersted, was the worst thing I’ve ever purchased from Best buy. Next time it’s going to be a Dell, Gateway or Mac for me. I’ve lost pages of work on this thing because it will randomly freeze or the screen will suddenly go black. Not overheated, not out of power, just random blackness. AAARRRGHHHH!!!

I’m still in the stage when I can’t imagine actually accomplishing the writing of a novel. Every time I start writing I get bogged down by that negative voice in my head that insinuates evil whispers about how terrible I am and how I should just stick to my boring 8-4:30 job in an office, because that’s all I’m good for. Maybe it is…I don’t know. Am I writing this because I’m a writer or because I’m not satisfied with my job? Will I be satisfied with a “career” if I can manage to make the switch to professional writer?

Will I be satisfied with anything, or am I one of those idiots who just can’t see the good in anything because NOTHING will be enough? Sometimes I wonder if I was a stupid debutant in a former life and part of me misses the idle rich style…even though if I WAS wealthy in this life I would be anything but idle. Either way, I keep blocking myself from really believing I have any shot at writing, because if I truly had talent wouldn’t I have been able to do SOMETHING by now?

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