Friday afternoon I stopped at
The Company Which Must Not Be Named (ps: I’m not allowed to talk about them per my disgustingly paltry severance agreement when I got laid off last fall). The office is on my way home, and I still have fabulous friends working there…I stopped after 4:30 on a Friday to drop off a little present for one of them, because I think random presents are neat even when they’re silly penguin notebooks. And I’m babbling…moving on.
Anyway, I was hanging out in the Support room with the cool kids and the Support Manager greeted me with “Jess, don’t you want to come back? PLEASE? You can configure (system name here) for us again…I even have spot for you!” Because I adore said support manager I kindly said thanks-but-no, I like my new gig, and moved on to other topics. Little did I know the error of that decision to stay and chat.
I tried to avoid seeing any OTHER former co-workers, my old boss in particular, because…well…let’s just say she and I didn’t get along well and leave it at that, shall we?
Of COURSE she walked into the support room. Of COURSE she stopped dead and stared at me for a full awkward second or two. Seeing as she personally chose to lay me off (never mind less experienced BAs who made more $$ than me were kept on…the whole not-getting-along thing, you know), I was FUCKING FLOORED when she tried to give me a big hug (AWKWARD, particularly since I didn’t move and definitely didn’t return the hug), asked how I’m doing, and “don’t you want to come back and configure for me?”
To my credit, I did NOT laugh in her face or say she couldn’t possibly afford me (because there’s no amount of money they could pay to get me to
work for that woman go back to traveling). Instead I asked about her kids every time she tried to find out where I work now and if I like it, and tried to give her absolutely no info about me. The whole encounter was vindicating (haHA! You DID fuck up letting me go), amusing, and really really awkward.
So, followed up that experience with a trip to see Jeff Dunham (aka Jefa-fa dunHAM…dot COM) at Mystic Lake Casino. First, let’s discuss the location of this venue. I THOUGHT the tickets were for the auditorium (inside the casino) when I bought them. Oh no, they were outside in the makeshift amphitheater. Which means there’s no decent view to be had (and to be fair I was cheap and didn’t buy the expensive tickets anyway). Mystic Lake, however, decided it’d be a GREAT idea to make concert-goers park about a mile away from the Amphitheater (not exaggerating here, folks) and force them to walk through the casino on the way to/from the show. Husband and I were so irritated at this (it was hot out that day, fuckers!) we didn’t go back to play the Princess Bride slot machines, even though I really want to…what IS the Fezzik bonus??
We finally found our seats out on the grass. The portable stadium-style seats were pretty uncomfortable for us tall folk, and the one shortie with us couldn’t reach her feet to the ground when she sat and had a hard time seeing through the crowd in front of us. But that’s ok…it was too far to see Jeff and the puppets anyway (if you don’t know, Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist comedian whose Comedy Central specials are funny as hell). He started late (of course). I’ll say this: there were a few times he made me laugh to tears. There were also quite a few totally bombed jokes: he tried out some new material that just didn’t go well (don’t know if it was the MN audience or just not funny). At one point I wondered if he realized that the reservation has its own police force…and thought they better have a good sense of humor or he might not get off the res…there were some pretty bad Indian jokes.
If that wasn’t enough excitement, I took my sister up to my Grandma’s for her baby shower, which consisted of a day sitting around the kitchen table mostly talking about poop bracketed by three hours in the car each way.
Yesterday I napped. I still haven’t recovered…the introvert is screeching at me to hide in my office and write, away from actual live breathing people and accompanied only by the ones in my imagination. We’ll see how much of that I can pull off this week.