So, as of this morning:
- I’m broke but I can get cash in an hour!
- I’m an *ahem* underhung dude (or I have size self-esteem problems) but NO WORRIES: we can extend you!
- I’m lonely, but luckily there’s both Match and eHarmony to accommodate my dating tastes.
- If dating with my newly enlarged junk is too painful, I can take supplements for my old-man-overused-joint problems!
- And unfortunately even though I have all these quick fixes:
- Death and Taxes are COMING TO GET ME.
I am thoroughly amused. After all, aren’t death and taxes coming to get everyone eventually?
Death and Taxes are on the way, so get your junk in shape, take some pills, borrow a shitload of cash and “date” as many people as you can? Well, I suppose that’s a philosophy, Yahoo Mail. Point to you.
In other news, I owe a January story from my 2014 Calendar Story Project. I’m starting a new page to my blog for free stories (meaning the ones I don’t submit for publication anywhere and just write for the hell of it). Look for that later this week.
Published by Jess
I'm a history and mythology fanatic with a head full of "but what if it happened THIS way instead" moments. I find humor in the most inappropriate situations.
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5 thoughts on “Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.”
I like how they're all nonchalant about your impending death. \”So, bad news. . .\” Does the email itself have any good news? Don't they understand the dynamic required here?All my gMail spam is so boring. . . which is probably why my recent Facebook spam adventure was fun.
Your spam is more fun than mine 🙂 Do you get both Christian Mingle AND J-Date dating? I do… not sure what that is all about.Good luck with both Death and Taxes. If death gets you first, well, I guess taxes can take a hike.
I get a lot for 'free sluts' and penis enlargement. What every 50 year old grandmother needs…
Heehee. Sometime I have to tell the story of my grandma's adventures on online dating. Because there's obviously no better way to get hooked up with a grandma (in my mind) than by sending thumbnail pics of old man junk.
I totally DO get both Christian Mingle and JDate. And eHarmony. And \”slutty housewives looking to cheat\” which really seems to be…poorly marketed to get to my email. Snort.