I’m a tad delayed for chapter three’s revelations, because we had an unexpected road trip on top of two Horde major school activities ending this week, which required coordination of drop off/pick up across multiple schools for multiple hours in an evening during our days. I don’t know why I didn’t expect so much of my sabbatical to be learning how to balance creativity with bonus-momming, but here we are. When I go back to working corporate next spring it’ll just be another layer of balancing.
Anyway.
I’m rather impressed with myself that I got through Chapter 3: The Female Sex Organs with only three “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME”s. Most of the chapter is more of a health class review of the different parts and functions of the female reproductive system, presented in a kind and scientifically matter-of-fact manner. I appreciate that. So instead of rehashing what people should’ve learned (and could easily find on the interwebz) in school about female anatomy, I’m focusing this particular post on the WTAF moments.
WTAF 1: The diagram included in this chapter includes the hymen as though it’s an actual important part for reproduction. It’s actually listed as part of “external genitalia.” FAR too much of this chapter focuses on the hymen and virginity. This is so fucking problematic, because it sets people up for misunderstanding and misinformation. Not every person with a vagina even HAS a hymen. Hymens break or are reduced by so many factors of normal life, and it should not be a fucking goal for anyone to “break” their partner and cause them to bleed. I hate the whole virginity culture, because it’s bullshit “I came in there first so any resulting baby is MINE” patriarchy that dehumanizes women into property. But it goes back so far in history I suppose it’s not surprising it’s included in this book.
WTAF 2: The doctors actually say in writing that there is something wrong with a woman if she has ANY unpleasant period symptoms. PMS (which isn’t discussed as such), cramps, fatigue, all dismissed as something WRONG with her, because obviously any wife shouldn’t have any negative effects that could make them less capable of taking care of everything in the house, right? My WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK was loud, vehement, and I nearly threw the book across the room. On behalf of all the women bamboozled by this bullshit in my grandparents’ era and people experiencing side effects of periods: it is not a fucking defect that you struggle. See a good OBGYN if you’re having debilitating pain and be persistent if you’re blown off. This is such bullshit I’m seeing red all over again while writing about it.
WTAF 3: Vaginal discharge is unhealthy and a sign of something wrong. NO IT FUCKING IS NOT. Again I refer to OBGYN advice in 2023 here: there is a whole cycle of perfectly normal vaginal activity. Ffs.
Things I approved of:
- Reassurance that physical activity and bathing is not only NOT prohibited during menses, but highly encouraged.
- Detailed explanation of how menstruation actually works, why it happens that way, and that there are three holes in women. It’s horrifying to me in 2023 that there are dudes all over the internet who think things like “women leave a tampon in for the whole month like a plug and remove it during their period” or “how do women go to the bathroom when there’s a tampon involved.”
- Discussion of vagina size and oblique confirmation that there is no such thing as “loose” vagina after sexual experience or childbirth.
- An “external genitalia” diagram that includes the clitoris, and a brief discussion on what it’s for and how it works. I would make a comment about how little is actually said here, but the chapter includes a reference to future chapters regarding how to “perform coitus” that will cover it more, so I’m willing to hold my reservations pending that chapter.
- There is a whole section discussing hormones and hormonal effects on the body, which includes intersex and trans folks, it just doesn’t call them out as specifically intersex (cases where babies have both sex organs and may not have hormones internally that match their external presentation) or trans. It’s remarkably scientifically supportive, but it is all couched from a perspective of reproductive ability in this chapter. Example: discussion of what happens when a woman is sterilized via ovary removal in women, and is it possible to affect a person’s body with hormone replacement therapies or transplants. Overtly supportive of trans and intersex folks from a moral point of view? No, but I also wouldn’t expect that. Scientifically frank about what works (at the time) for people who are missing hormones they need? Yes. I find that, again, surprisingly and pleasantly supportive.
I will admit I read chapter 3 already having quite a bit of knowledge of how the female reproductive body works, because I like knowing how my body works. I was mostly happy with this chapter, other than the three WTFs above, which is encouraging for my reading the rest of this book. I appreciate the doctors’ approach to this including the woman as an active participant in the marriage (so far) with her own bodily functions that both she and her husband should know about.
Chapter 4 is about the actual process of reproduction (the sperm/egg development sort, not the sexy process), so if you’re reading this series hoping for ’30’s porny advice, it’s probably not in the next post, either.
No Pithy Phrase 