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Reasons I Shouldn’t Personally Hit The Snooze Button

Disclaimer: I am not judging your ability or inability to hit said snooze button.1) It's not actually a button anymore. Seriously..it's a random space in the middle of a touch screen on a device I'm more likely to throw across the room when the stupid noise starts than fumble my ham-hands to the correct fingertip spot… Continue reading Reasons I Shouldn’t Personally Hit The Snooze Button

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I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)

So I have a (perhaps foolish) goal to submit at least two pieces of writing every month for publication this year. Yeah, yeah, I know...but it's not a sparkler-and-champagne induced resolution thing like losing weight or some other random general "goal." I'd like to say I have a really specific goal, such as writing 1k words… Continue reading I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)

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Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

...until I had dogs. THOR! STOP humping your brother!Who peed on the bathroom floor?Dude...it's a buttless, headless monkey (much beloved/abused stuffed animal)...gross. Chewy, I know you have to eviscerate stuffed animals, but do you HAVE to get the guts all over the floor?Chewy, seriously, poop THEN wander around. You look retarded.DON'T STEP IN IT!! GODDAMMIT!!!NO… Continue reading Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…