Someone found my blog by searching for the following:im the creeper your the peeperI have bones. Let the picking begin.1) There's a goddamn apostrophe in "I'm"2) When did we stop capitalizing??3) Sigh. Punctuation. I just...yeah. Punctuation.4) Seriously, there's a meme on social media at least twice a day pointing out correct usage of your/you're.5) ewwwwww.… Continue reading Perhaps I Require Priority Adjustment
Tag: I don’t know how to label this
I Killed Shelob. Sort of.
I get pretty bored with the regular target-targets at the range. Apparently I'm not the only person who feels that way (and watches too many SyFy monster movies), because at Gander Mountain I found THESE: Yes, I DID make it extra-large so you can see ALL THE HORROR. Is that her BRAIN bubbling out of the… Continue reading I Killed Shelob. Sort of.
No More Jameson For You, Wampa
I found this in my office today:Drunk Wampa is drunk. Or sad. I suspect someone's been hitting the whiskey bottle on top of the fridge.It occurs to me that the monster is now out of the closet. The physical closet, I mean...I don't claim to have any knowledge on Wampa's preferences, nor do I think it's… Continue reading No More Jameson For You, Wampa
Things I’ll Miss in Texas
I'm having a fairly craptastic week, writing-wise. And so, while I'm not quite up for a real blog post, I did want to write something not totally pathetic. And therefore: shit I'll miss about Texas.1) Ocean (or in this case, the Gulf). As always, leaving the sea creates an ache of sorts, a missing that… Continue reading Things I’ll Miss in Texas
I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)
So I have a (perhaps foolish) goal to submit at least two pieces of writing every month for publication this year. Yeah, yeah, I know...but it's not a sparkler-and-champagne induced resolution thing like losing weight or some other random general "goal." I'd like to say I have a really specific goal, such as writing 1k words… Continue reading I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)
Chewy is NOT a Mouseketeer.
According to exorcism/poltergeist/paranormal horror movies, night time is when evil wakes, right? midnight is the witching hour, 0300 is the demonic hour, etcetera etcetera...Apparently in our house 0430 is Rodent Hour. If 0300 is the demonic hour in a sort of "demons saying fuck you to the holy trinity" way, what exactly is the mouse… Continue reading Chewy is NOT a Mouseketeer.
No, I Don’t Know Why Either.
I don't have enough of one topic for a funny post tonight, but I have a bunch of weird episodes from the past few days I thought I'd share. Earlier this week, I found the following in my cube garbage can at work: But WHY is this even a question?WHAT THE FUCK does any of that mean?… Continue reading No, I Don’t Know Why Either.
Molon Labe
This is not a funny post. It's likely to cause me some hate mail (or hate-facebooking, I suppose). Ah well.I am completely NOT shocked, nor even mildly surprised, about the CIA torture report. What DOES dishearten me are the variations of "This is why I don't give a fuck that we tortured terrorists" memes on… Continue reading Molon Labe
"Mrs. Titts" isn’t an empty title, people.
Today, I was coerced by a pushy coworker to PARTICIPATE in group "fun" activities. I think work fun activities should involve alcohol and the ability to watch people make idiots of themselves. Well, I suppose I got half of that. We were "festive" and made gingerbread houses. Because what's better at an insurance company than… Continue reading "Mrs. Titts" isn’t an empty title, people.
Update: Screaming Worms.
Turns out it's "web worms" (a couple people called them silkworms, but I didn't see any silk...just gross maggoty things that moved in time with the beat of Chewy's feet as he walked by). Husband thinks Chewy is purposefully amassing an army of worms to create air-support (as they do eventually turn into moths, after… Continue reading Update: Screaming Worms.
No Pithy Phrase 