Last weekend we had an un-aptly-named “Staycation,” because neither of us had the available PTO to go to Florida with the rest of the family.
We stayed here: The Graves 601, partially because the location is pretty darn ideal for wandering around downtown Minneapolis (The Graves is across from Target Center/Target Field, next to Kieran’s Irish Pub, 2 blocks away from Nicollet Mall, and right next to a Starbucks…not that the Starbucks locale had ANYTHING to do with my decision when making reservations. Really!), partially because the price was slightly less than a few other luxury hotels in the area, and partially because I’m morbid and enjoyed the idea of staying in “The Graves.”
The room was Ikea-esque: ultra modern with the whole low-profile bed, small-ish modern furniture, and a shower-only bathroom. Of course, the shower-only bathroom was acceptable since it was one of those 5 head massaging showers that hit you from the top of your head to your knees…awesome.
What I was NOT aware of (nor does their website say this anywhere): the Graves is a totally suggestive sex room. Is that because it’s across from a major concert venue or because it’s a business hotel during the week? I’m not sure, and honestly I don’t think I want to know.
The naughtiness begins with artwork:
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A disposable camera.
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A “female intimacy kit” in a charming black box, including various lubes.
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A “regular” intimacy kit, including 2 condoms and “gynecological” wet wipes.
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A shoehorn.
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A wine bottle opener.
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A bandage/first aid kit (in case the shoehorn didn’t work?)
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Two types of suggestively labeled breath mints.
No Pithy Phrase 