Random shit I’ve encountered this week:
- Started a mild flame war with an idiot on the Huffington Post who thinks women should stay home and have babies “because they have breasts.” No, I’m not kidding. Jack. Ass.
- Taught bellydance with a possibly broken toe. As it turns out my toe must not be broken, even though it’s still mildly sausage-like and purple. I’m making this assumption because I made it through an hour and a half or so and can still walk today. Now…have to change my nail polish from blue to something less “dead toe”-ish.
- Random conversation with two of my friends/students about the hotness of some Wild players (that’s MN Wild, for you
foolsnon-hockey-fans out there). Somehow that devolved into a discussion of appropriate stalking maneuvers, which further descended the “this is NOT OK” scale into potential B&E and molestation of certain players.*
- Resigned my position on my townhome association’s board after discovering a MAJOR financial decision was made without my input or vote. Said board is trying to convince me to stay, but I have no interest in being on the receiving end of a lawsuit, and while not everyone who knows me will agree, I DO have a few ethics.
- Received a fantastic picture of a nekkid butt. I responded that I feel inadequate just thinking about sending a pic of my own in return, and could I substitute and IOU until I’ve lost some weight and toned up?
- Started looking for a new place to live, because this week I’ve had strange people walking through the complex, neighbors accusing other neighbors of running a whorehouse in their townhome, and lost faith in the board.
- Dammit. Rent is high and our complex was hit bad by idiots (the old woman who sold her unit for $30k when it was worth $100k) AND foreclosures…yeah. No way we’re getting out of there anytime soon…Sigh.
- Discovered that Holiday gas stations totally hose you on a regular sized package of M&Ms. I must be old…I had a dollar, thinking “ooh…chocolate for the afternoon.” A non-king-sized (ie the smaller size) package is $1.19. SERIOUSLY? I suppose my cheap nature can now be commended for not adding another pound on my ass, but still…
- Had a long discussion with former co-workers about the pink dildo one saw on her street when she left for work this morning.
- No, it wasn’t her dildo.
- Another friend had to stop on his way past her house to confirm said dildo was just lying there in the middle of the street.
- Speculation on whether the owner threw it out because it was pink, because it was terrible, or possibly because the dog thought it’d be a GREAT chew toy.
- Yes, it appeared to have a face, which began a whole extension of the original conversation about the inappropriateness of sex toys having faces. WHAT THE HELL, manufacturers? Explain WHY you think it’s sexy to have fun naughty behavior with a Jesus butt plug, or a butterfly/dolphin/beaver (the animal) face on a toy?
- On second thought, please don’t explain. I don’t want to know much about the fucked up mind that came up with that shit…my own mind is bad enough. There’s no room for you in here.
Good Gods, it’s only Wednesday people.
*Note to the authorities: there will be NO criminal activity against our beloved muscular athletes who play with sticks for a living…it was just speculation on whether one in particular would enjoy being tied up and used. and possibly something about mustache rides. Just you never mind.