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Groupon is making me fat…and other random crap

My time in the hospital inappropriately jump-started a new diet plan (hey, I lost 12 pounds in that first two weeks and it’s stayed off…might as well get SOMETHING good out of this shit!). I find the following Groupon really annoying, now that I’m making a conscious effort to eat better and do some sort of sweating activity.



Groupon hates my weight loss!


Screw you Groupon, I’m not eating your damn cake and I’m pretty sick of the Zumba coupons. So there. Poor marketing! Bring back the Conceal and Carry discount. Or martial arts. Or even aerial yoga, which I’m DYING to try when I’ve lost enough weight that I won’t bring the ceiling down…and it arrives in MN (generally we’re years behind the coasts in any trend) if you MUST give me something I’d classify as girly.

In the meantime, I’ve been wasting time today on www.etsy.com today, because buying from small artisans is like buying from local businesses: I’ve found it’s often far better. Not always, but often.

I found THIS FABULOUSNESS today, and am planning to scare the bejesus out of the neighborhood kids with my lawn as soon as possible. Go forth, zombie lovers, and make YOUR lawn disturbing. Just in time for Halloween!

Of course, that brought me to other Halloween-type etsy crafts, which brought me to the Poe/Raven Print that I utterly covet for my office. It’s finally getting chilly and dark in the evenings, and it smells like dying leaves and impending winter. Time for my annual Lovecraft and Poe reading marathon…modern horror just can’t compete.

PS: Spellchecker doesn’t recognize “bejesus” or “girly” (never mind Groupon or etsy, which are made up words anyway). I’m amused.

UPDATED: Thanks to The Bloggess I also now MUST have the Weeping Angel from Amazon. Except I’ll have to buy two. And make them face each other.

Just in case.

3 thoughts on “Groupon is making me fat…and other random crap

  1. I would have to buy two and make them face each other too. If I didn't I'd be afraid that they'd ACTUALLY come to life and send me to another time. Hmm…. actually, maybe I'm kinda ok with that…One Weeping Angel it is!

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  2. I know, right? Zombie SANTA gnomes…mwahahaha. There used to be a set in that Etsy shop of five gnomes eating a dead pink flamingo lawn ornament (you could tell it was dead by the X eyes). Exellently sick.

    Like

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