I don't have a real post today, so I've compiled a few choice things I've said out loud in the past week or two to various furry fools in my life. That sock isn't yours. Stop eating the innards. Minerva, whenever she can get a sock out of the laundry before I put them away.… Continue reading Things I Never Thought I’d Say ’til I Had Pets – Part SeventyBillion
Tag: these are not the penises you’re looking for
But I Should Smile More
It's been an angsty couple of weeks: turns out after you beat cancer doctors are EXTRA VIGILANT about everything, so I'm tired of imaging rooms and MRI tubes and everything is fine, but it's been moderately stressful. This is purely background information for today's post, which I warn you is regarding the "BUT WHY ARE… Continue reading But I Should Smile More
But…Does this EVER work for them?
Today is a bad day. So, I'm taking a moment to laugh about two horribly inept attempts at interacting I've received recently. Humans are fascinating creatures, you guys. Last month, two friends and my therapist (yes, I have a therapist. I had cancer: OF COURSE I have a therapist) talked me into trying online dating.… Continue reading But…Does this EVER work for them?
An Amateur Historian’s Linguistic Annoyance
I'm watching a documentary on the Etruscans. Yes I'm a nerd, this is established. I'm irritated with the historian/archaeology presenters.First, a thirty-second background on Etruscans because I usually assume I'm the only ancient history weirdo in the room. Please ignore the next two paragraphs if you're already all well-versed in Etruscan history, or medium-versed, or… Continue reading An Amateur Historian’s Linguistic Annoyance
Reasons I Shouldn’t Personally Hit The Snooze Button
Disclaimer: I am not judging your ability or inability to hit said snooze button.1) It's not actually a button anymore. Seriously..it's a random space in the middle of a touch screen on a device I'm more likely to throw across the room when the stupid noise starts than fumble my ham-hands to the correct fingertip spot… Continue reading Reasons I Shouldn’t Personally Hit The Snooze Button
Groupon Offered "Junk Removal" Today. I’m Disturbed.
Then again, maybe I'm the only one who thinks of this in 12 year old terms. Of course, I also received a bunch of offers for viagra/cialis and an inappropriate offer for surprise anal. (Um, can I just say that, at least theoretically, pretty much no sexual act should be a surprise?) If I don't think about… Continue reading Groupon Offered "Junk Removal" Today. I’m Disturbed.
Be Careful What You Ask For?
Every once in a while, people who aren't COMPLETELY horrified at the stuff I think up wonder where the hell I get some of my story ideas. I had a nifty example today...While sitting in the girl-doctor's office waiting room, no less (before being mildly annoyed that my appointment was being cancelled via phone while… Continue reading Be Careful What You Ask For?
The Return and Demise of Samael
Two years ago, the Starbucks nearest to my house hosted a demon on their drive-through shelf.As most bad pennies do, he turned up again on Wednesday last week after a snowstorm. I mean, sheesh...evil soul-swallowing snow monsters and their regeneration, right? How exhausting.The Desolate One, ThwartedSadly, Samael (The Desolate One) was no match for the… Continue reading The Return and Demise of Samael
"Duran Duran DOES NOT Sing The Song Of My People" (This post is Not Safe For Anyone*)
I seriously considered leaving this entire post blank**, because in this case the title really does say it all. Honestly, I laughed so hard at that one (which was dropped during what I thought was a totally normal conversation) I wheezed and cried a little.Also? Since I generally anonymize my friends/family on this blog unless… Continue reading "Duran Duran DOES NOT Sing The Song Of My People" (This post is Not Safe For Anyone*)
Errant Vegetables In The News
I love Huffington Post. No, I didn't include a link. Yes, that's on purpose. Not because it's an example of fair journalism (they aren't), nor because of the quality writing (it often isn't), nor because the site is so full of integrity* (definitely not). *this is a site that doesn't pay any of the writers.… Continue reading Errant Vegetables In The News
