Month: April 2013

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I’m Too Lewd for Google…Mwahahahaha

Jess8 Comments

I was toying with the idea of putting a couple of ads on my blog, and so I looked into the Google AdSense stuff (since it's affiliated with Blogger and so is likely the easiest foray into the great unknown). Alas, it's not meant to be. According to the email I got from the AdSense… Continue reading I’m Too Lewd for Google…Mwahahahaha

Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures
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Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

Jess3 Comments

As I'm sure you're aware (since for some reason my uterus post is the #1 read post on my blog, according to the internet gremlins who decided to count random pings from Eastern Europe as "read") I have no human babies. I have fabulous nieces and nephews whom I adore spoiling.And two excessively large canines… Continue reading Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??
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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??

Jess3 Comments

This will haunt my dreams. Proof the interwebz are possessed? You're welcome. BEARLACC!!*An alien contemplating its next victim? A balding werewolf? (Team Jacob in 30 years!). A SyFy Saturday night Creature? Really, who knows? *Or it's a bear, after an unfortunate encounter with an overzealous barber and a set of industrial-strength clippers. Seriously, THIS is why… Continue reading WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??

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Clearly, I’m destined to write a cosmic guide for weird harlots.

Jess4 Comments

Random search patterns resulting in people finding my blog this week: homewreckers and harlots werid shit cosmic guideLet's just ignore the misspelling of "weird" (would that be pronounced WEE-Rid?) since I'm assuming someone just fat-fingered their google search screen...although my blog is still recognized by google for both weird AND werid shit, and I think that's… Continue reading Clearly, I’m destined to write a cosmic guide for weird harlots.

No, no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s "whOOre"
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No, no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s "whOOre"

Jess1 Comment

So I live in the Land Spring Forgot. Let's just get that out of the way: it's April something-teen and we're in the middle of yet another "shnit" storm (that would be Husband's word for the rain/sleet/snow shit that's currently coating the ground, and more importantly the roads, in a layer of slushy icy crap).… Continue reading No, no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s "whOOre"

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It was a Shark-Sarlacc…Sharklacc!

Jess3 Comments

Last night I woke up seven times from nightmares. SEVEN TIMES. Sigh. Who needs sleep, after all, when you can lie in bed and contemplate the ramifications of being swallowed whole by anything with stomach acid? The first, and most vivid, is too fucked up to even attempt to psychoanalyze. But hey, if you have… Continue reading It was a Shark-Sarlacc…Sharklacc!

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I am unamusing. You can skip this post.

Jess4 Comments

I think I lost a close friend last week. Not in a sock drawer or to circus. Not to any nefarious creature or mob hit: just lost him. Stubbornness may have been involved. And temper. I'm sure you're shocked and astounded that my temper would successfully push someone away. I am decidedly not shocked. Nor… Continue reading I am unamusing. You can skip this post.

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This is not a corpse speaking…no really, I’m somewhat alive.

Jess6 Comments

I've been offline quite a bit lately working on FINALLY finishing my first book (rough draft only). I'm not done, but I'm not dead. Yet.I figure I need to finish, because my excellent friend Sarah did a Tarot reading for me recently that was essentially a GIANT COSMIC WARNING that I'm "excessively fertile." I suppose it… Continue reading This is not a corpse speaking…no really, I’m somewhat alive.