life · Writing

Deja Vu Slalom

If you’ve seen The Matrix (which sadly I can’t assume anymore because it’s now a movie old enough to drink legally and likely makes me out of touch with pop culture references), you’d say I had a glitch this morning. It’s not the first time: I get deja vu regularly, and it’s weird every time.

For quick reference, the definition of deja vu is “the feeling that one has lived through the present situation before.” It’s a pretty common phenomenon among humans in general, and there’s no concrete explanation why. Maybe it IS a glitch in the matrix. Maybe it’s a glitch in the synapses in your brainpan. Maybe it’s a vitamin deficiency, or overactive imagination, or not enough coffee. I don’t know. Feel free to research if you like (wiki link included for a diving board).

A friend and I have had long theoretical discussions about this, because maybe deja vu is a sort of sign. He described it as similar to slalom skiers: as you progress down whatever path your life is on, you have decision points that change everything, right? So isn’t it nice if the universe (feel free to substitute whatever you like here, depending on your own version of spirituality) gives you the occasional flag? Deja vu is a moment passing through those slalom flags, a small reassurance that you’re where you’re supposed to be. It’s a nice thought.

You’re welcome to take or leave it as you like, but I think about this a lot, and I’ll admit the slalom gates works for me well enough I’m not sorry about stealing it for the mental symbol I use to describe the phenomenon.

My sign posts are RIDICULOUS. This morning, I had a strong deja vu moment while I was looking at Facebook and Twitter after emailing a professor at the UofM about a class I want to take this fall. It’s the strangest thing, to REMEMBER exactly what shows up while scrolling social media, an utterly inane unimportant moment, as you’re doing it. This is just an example: ALL of my deja vu moments are completely boring, inane, random moments that are convincingly something I’ve dreamed or remember or otherwise know will happen, but not until they’re happening.

If these are little “hey girl, you’re where you’re supposed to be right now in this moment, good job” notices from the universe, awesome? But what the hell…why would I dream-remember a post on Twitter about a woman getting killed by a Great White off the coast of Maine as a deja vu moment? WHY? Where is the importance in that flash of memory, and if it’s a weird brain precognition/premonition thing…well, not super useful, is it?

I have had moments remembered where I’m literally sitting on the couch, unapologetically watching brain-melting Bravo TV.

I have had moments remembered where I’m picking up dog poop in the back yard.

I have yet to hit a deja vu moment that isn’t a completely boring.

And yet, I still find them irrationally comforting somehow. Yep, you can totally refute the validity of the slalom flag gate view, but it works for me. This morning, right now, I’m at some point in my life that gets a flag, so I maybe sitting at my desk writing this post is where I’m supposed to be.

Arguably, if I’m going to sit at my desk writing for the afternoon, I have a book to finish (and a blog page for it). I wonder if deja vu took into account the combination of a laptop and a hammock?

One thought on “Deja Vu Slalom

  1. Sounds like life is getting too routine :). The Matrix is getting old :(, it is still a ground breaking movie. I haven’t had a deja-vu moment in a long time. Maybe I am not in touch with my future self.


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