Dear Aliens: I am NOT an English Teacher

Ok, I’m beginning to think it’s not spambot AI’s commenting on my posts. Either this is a spy speaking in a code I haven’t broken yet, or aliens are attempting to learn English via blogs. Examples below are from my spam filter this morning.

Please note, aliens, I am NOT a good source I have terrible grammar and create my own words way too often, plus my idioms are about as normal as the rest of me (which is today, not at all).

Why are you paintings on information, regardless of value? I presume this is a community of aliens? I hope they’re thankful enough not to probe.
Honestly, I also surprise.
Wait…does this mean? I didn’t invite any sort of invasion of my home planet OR my house. WTF?
I think you may not understand what peculiar means if this is exactly what you wanted to find.
I have questions about what a review of a BDSM novel facilitates for you, but it’s likely safer not to know. You’re welcome, I guess? But not in my house, just for clarity. Keep your alien probes to yourself.
I think fastidious doesn’t mean what you think it means. Also…what?

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