Author: Jess

Amateur historian, mythology enthusiast, writer, reader, sarcastic weirdo, cancer survivor. Author of Defying Shadows: For Witches and Pagans Battling Cancer and Chronic Illness.
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Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin

Jess3 Comments

Today, nestled in the innocuous Groupon email offers for tasty dinners, pedicures, and odd products, there was a super awesome opportunity for cheap Skydiving.Let's not focus on how I'd rather pay full price for a death-defying activity for now. I'm not against skydiving: I'd be interested except I'd barf on the poor tandem person I'm… Continue reading Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin

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I’m Stuck in Post-Vacation, Post-New-Book Blahs…

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You know that feeling? The one where you FINALLY get the second book in a series you like so much you'll ignore everything to read it (everything = eating, sex, feeding the dogs, showering, sleeping, working, oh shit was that a husband who just walked by? I'm not sure...I'm utterly lost in a different world)?Yeah. So… Continue reading I’m Stuck in Post-Vacation, Post-New-Book Blahs…

Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.
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Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.

Jess3 Comments

I'm amused that some of my labels increase the Russian and Eastern European traffic exponentially. Since said labels are "This Isn't Porn" and "These Are Not the Penises You're Looking For" I'd say they're not reading closely enough...after all, I think it's pretty goddamned clear. So hello, all you porn-surfing-peeps who accidentally arrived at my… Continue reading Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.

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THIS Surpasses "Darth Creepiness"

Jess7 Comments

Remember that time when I bought a Lego Sarlacc and put sad-faced Lego people heads on it? Because I'm disturbing and fun?Today, super cool Sarah at This Is How The Apocalypse Starts has FAR FAR surpassed my creepiness.I'm proud to know her internetness.Go read this immediately: http://apocalypsestarts.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-everyone-needs-to-have-creepy.htmlYou're welcome for the nightmares.

Furballs Run My Household
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Furballs Run My Household

Jess8 Comments

Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household

Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
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Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.

Jess7 Comments

I'm filling out paperwork for the spring bellydance sessions I teach in two community education districts, and I'm reminded of a post I did a couple of years ago about this exact topic. Original post here: http://nopithyphrase.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-bellydance-this-is-not-funny-post.htmlIn other news, "Bring Xena Back" was one of the ways people found my blog on today's stats. I'm furiously… Continue reading Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.

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Mmm…SPAM.

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You guys, my Spam adventures (not to be confused with SPAM) have expanded to Facebook messages!Dear  REDACTED ,I am very sorry for distracting your attention,I am Barrister Patrick Lawson,personal attorney to my Late Client Mr.A. REDACTED,a national of your country, Who died and left some huge amount of money  with a bank here in my… Continue reading Mmm…SPAM.

Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!
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Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!

Jess6 Comments

There are some bigass changes in the works in my house, and the next couple of months are probably going to drive me to baldness. This should not be confused with big ASS changes, which implies something is changing about my big ass. It is not currently, as I greatly enjoy Thin Mints and the… Continue reading Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!

Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.
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Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.

Jess5 Comments

So, as of this morning:I'm broke but I can get cash in an hour!I'm an *ahem* underhung dude (or I have size self-esteem problems) but NO WORRIES: we can extend you!I'm lonely, but luckily there's both Match and eHarmony to accommodate my dating tastes.If dating with my newly enlarged junk is too painful, I can… Continue reading Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.

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It’s a Stephen King Story…In Reverse

Jess7 Comments

According to multiple news sources, a ghost ship full of rats is headed to shore.The Pied Piper is apparently returning his spoils. From Canada.I have nothing else to say about this except even if you're one of those people who have rats as pets, being overrun by ten bazillion small creatures of any type is… Continue reading It’s a Stephen King Story…In Reverse