Tag: I don’t know how to label this

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It Matters. You Matter.

Jess5 Comments

I tell myself some version of "it doesn't matter" upwards of a thousand times a day.Not all of that is a bad thing: It doesn't matter that I'm so sleepy: get up. It doesn't matter that I don't feel much like working today: do it anyway. It doesn't matter that the dogs made a huge mess: it's… Continue reading It Matters. You Matter.

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Serendipity? This is not a real post.

Jess1 Comment

You guys,Someone found my blog by searching "barfy foot massage."If you don't recall, I wrote once about exactly that here.Also, I checked when I was in Houston this week: it's still there. I still don't have the balls to walk in there: I'm not ashamed to say vomit smell makes me gag.I miss my girls… Continue reading Serendipity? This is not a real post.

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"It’s Just a Stupid Diary. Everyone Knows They’re Full of Crap"

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May is apparently Mental Health Awareness month. Of course, I don't pay attention to national-anything-days unless it's food related (well, hello there National Doughnut Day...I love you), and to be completely honest the days of the week/month are a little hosed in my head right now as I get used to a work-from-home routine...but I… Continue reading "It’s Just a Stupid Diary. Everyone Knows They’re Full of Crap"

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Perhaps I Require Priority Adjustment

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Someone found my blog by searching for the following:im the creeper your the peeperI have bones. Let the picking begin.1) There's a goddamn apostrophe in "I'm"2) When did we stop capitalizing??3) Sigh. Punctuation. I just...yeah. Punctuation.4) Seriously, there's a meme on social media at least twice a day pointing out correct usage of your/you're.5) ewwwwww.… Continue reading Perhaps I Require Priority Adjustment

I Killed Shelob. Sort of.
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I Killed Shelob. Sort of.

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I get pretty bored with the regular target-targets at the range. Apparently I'm not the only person who feels that way (and watches too many SyFy monster movies), because at Gander Mountain I found THESE: Yes, I DID make it extra-large so you can see ALL THE HORROR. Is that her BRAIN bubbling out of  the… Continue reading I Killed Shelob. Sort of.

No More Jameson For You, Wampa
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No More Jameson For You, Wampa

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I found this in my office today:Drunk Wampa is drunk. Or sad. I suspect someone's been hitting the whiskey bottle on top of the fridge.It occurs to me that the monster is now out of the closet. The physical closet, I mean...I don't claim to have any knowledge on Wampa's preferences, nor do I think it's… Continue reading No More Jameson For You, Wampa

Things I’ll Miss in Texas
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Things I’ll Miss in Texas

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I'm having a fairly craptastic week, writing-wise. And so, while I'm not quite up for a real blog post, I did want to write something not totally pathetic. And therefore: shit I'll miss about Texas.1) Ocean (or in this case, the Gulf). As always, leaving the sea creates an ache of sorts, a missing that… Continue reading Things I’ll Miss in Texas

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I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)

Jess1 Comment

So I have a (perhaps foolish) goal to submit at least two pieces of writing every month for publication this year. Yeah, yeah, I know...but it's not a sparkler-and-champagne induced resolution thing like losing weight or some other random general "goal." I'd like to say I have a really specific goal, such as writing 1k words… Continue reading I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)

Chewy is NOT a Mouseketeer.
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Chewy is NOT a Mouseketeer.

Jess1 Comment

According to exorcism/poltergeist/paranormal horror movies, night time is when evil wakes, right? midnight is the witching hour, 0300 is the demonic hour, etcetera etcetera...Apparently in our house 0430 is Rodent Hour. If 0300 is the demonic hour in a sort of "demons saying fuck you to the holy trinity" way, what exactly is the mouse… Continue reading Chewy is NOT a Mouseketeer.

No, I Don’t Know Why Either.
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No, I Don’t Know Why Either.

Jess1 Comment

I don't have enough of one topic for a funny post tonight, but I have a bunch of weird episodes from the past few days I thought I'd share. Earlier this week, I found the following in my cube garbage can at work: But WHY is this even a question?WHAT THE FUCK does any of that mean?… Continue reading No, I Don’t Know Why Either.