Tag: I don’t know how to label this

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DO NOT Google "Velociraptor Arms"

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The nearest Starbucks to my house is either a couple miles up the freeway (which is a terrible idea between 7:30 and 8:30am, since I only want a damn coffee and not two hours in traffic for three miles), or a fairly meandering twisty series of roads through an upper-middle-class neighborhood. Of course, I take… Continue reading DO NOT Google "Velociraptor Arms"

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It’s Dorian. Dorian Cruise.

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Last week I watched Mission Impossible: Tom Cruise Never Gets Old.Let me preface this post by saying I love the MI movies, and not just for Simon Pegg and Jeremy Renner. I love them because I can usually see foreshadowing clearly, and so not many plots are surprising. In MI, of course the good guys… Continue reading It’s Dorian. Dorian Cruise.

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It Matters. You Matter.

Jess5 Comments

I tell myself some version of "it doesn't matter" upwards of a thousand times a day.Not all of that is a bad thing: It doesn't matter that I'm so sleepy: get up. It doesn't matter that I don't feel much like working today: do it anyway. It doesn't matter that the dogs made a huge mess: it's… Continue reading It Matters. You Matter.

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Serendipity? This is not a real post.

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You guys,Someone found my blog by searching "barfy foot massage."If you don't recall, I wrote once about exactly that here.Also, I checked when I was in Houston this week: it's still there. I still don't have the balls to walk in there: I'm not ashamed to say vomit smell makes me gag.I miss my girls… Continue reading Serendipity? This is not a real post.

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"It’s Just a Stupid Diary. Everyone Knows They’re Full of Crap"

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May is apparently Mental Health Awareness month. Of course, I don't pay attention to national-anything-days unless it's food related (well, hello there National Doughnut Day...I love you), and to be completely honest the days of the week/month are a little hosed in my head right now as I get used to a work-from-home routine...but I… Continue reading "It’s Just a Stupid Diary. Everyone Knows They’re Full of Crap"

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Perhaps I Require Priority Adjustment

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Someone found my blog by searching for the following:im the creeper your the peeperI have bones. Let the picking begin.1) There's a goddamn apostrophe in "I'm"2) When did we stop capitalizing??3) Sigh. Punctuation. I just...yeah. Punctuation.4) Seriously, there's a meme on social media at least twice a day pointing out correct usage of your/you're.5) ewwwwww.… Continue reading Perhaps I Require Priority Adjustment

I Killed Shelob. Sort of.
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I Killed Shelob. Sort of.

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I get pretty bored with the regular target-targets at the range. Apparently I'm not the only person who feels that way (and watches too many SyFy monster movies), because at Gander Mountain I found THESE: Yes, I DID make it extra-large so you can see ALL THE HORROR. Is that her BRAIN bubbling out of  the… Continue reading I Killed Shelob. Sort of.

No More Jameson For You, Wampa
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No More Jameson For You, Wampa

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I found this in my office today:Drunk Wampa is drunk. Or sad. I suspect someone's been hitting the whiskey bottle on top of the fridge.It occurs to me that the monster is now out of the closet. The physical closet, I mean...I don't claim to have any knowledge on Wampa's preferences, nor do I think it's… Continue reading No More Jameson For You, Wampa

Things I’ll Miss in Texas
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Things I’ll Miss in Texas

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I'm having a fairly craptastic week, writing-wise. And so, while I'm not quite up for a real blog post, I did want to write something not totally pathetic. And therefore: shit I'll miss about Texas.1) Ocean (or in this case, the Gulf). As always, leaving the sea creates an ache of sorts, a missing that… Continue reading Things I’ll Miss in Texas

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I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)

Jess1 Comment

So I have a (perhaps foolish) goal to submit at least two pieces of writing every month for publication this year. Yeah, yeah, I know...but it's not a sparkler-and-champagne induced resolution thing like losing weight or some other random general "goal." I'd like to say I have a really specific goal, such as writing 1k words… Continue reading I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)