If you're wondering, I'm TOTALLY using that title for my as-yet-ill-conceived memoir. That's right: "climb into the handbasket" was one of the many fucked-up ways people found this blog. Here are a few others: "i'm in love with my same sex therapist" - I'm fairly certain I've never blogged about this. Should I ever I'll… Continue reading CLIMB INTO THE HANDBASKET…and hang the hell on.
Tag: I’m a lucky sucker
Random Shit: Because I Still Can’t Write A Real Post
The weekend was a flurry of hospital time, family time (parents are heading back to California today, because they're assholes who live where it's warm), and errands. I suck at blogging lately, it's true. I spent quite a bit of time surfing facebook in the dark because Husband was napping and I couldn't turn the goddamn… Continue reading Random Shit: Because I Still Can’t Write A Real Post
Hospital Universe
Husband is entering day 12 in the intensive care unit, and I'm futzing around at work this morning until my 1pm conference call is finished so I can go work from his room. A hospital is a really strange alternate universe where time moves strangely and you're in a weird microcosm of "we're all worried together."… Continue reading Hospital Universe
My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.
In case you were wondering, Thor wouldn't allow me to put the "Happy Fucking Birthday" hat on him. Apparently he has more pride than Chewy, who allowed it but only with a cranky face. This is not the same cranky face I get when it's time for nail clipping, ear cleaning, or bathing...but it's close.… Continue reading My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.
My loved ones are assholes. Well, some of them, anyway.
So my meetings today were over early and I had a horrid headache, so I went home to work from the couch. Because my company is FUCKING COOL like that.I took a bunch of ibuprofin and thought a hot shower would help kill off the tiny evil gnome attempting to burrow way out of my temple. OF COURSE… Continue reading My loved ones are assholes. Well, some of them, anyway.
I met The Bloggess! And nearly made a mess in CVS. These are not related.
On my 35th birthday (which was Friday) I met Jenny Lawson. (I also received a beautiful necklace and various forms of most excellent sappiness from my husband, but those are mine and I'm not sharing). I stood in line for the book signing after hearing her read a chapter of her book, Let's Pretend This… Continue reading I met The Bloggess! And nearly made a mess in CVS. These are not related.
It’s true: I do not gargle donkey balls.
I'll explain that in a minute, promise. I had a mental-out yesterday and a whiny bitch-fest, and instead of telling me to suck it up I got some fantabulous comments: thank you. You guys are more awesome than unicorns and glitter.(I had a neat pic here and realized it's not MINE to share on a… Continue reading It’s true: I do not gargle donkey balls.
I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
This post is likely ok for work, but not safe for prudes or children. If you're either, go away.I'm an introvert.If you're a Meyers Briggs aficionado, I'm usually an INFP...meaning I'm an introverted intuitive feeling perceptor (I don't remember what the N means, and I'm too lazy to look it up). What the fuck does that… Continue reading I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
UPDATED: Dirty Yodaisms and Holy Balls
Someday I'm likely going to have to pay these people for the shit they come up with to entertain me during the day. Indeed, in an attempt to make me laugh inappropriately during meetings today, I received the following text messages: Z: Coworker X told me a bit ago that he would rather have sex… Continue reading UPDATED: Dirty Yodaisms and Holy Balls
Wolverines are real and they don’t melt at the zoo.
Last weekend we took my cousins to Valleyfair (the local attempt at a Six Flags) and the Minnesota Zoo. Last weekend the heat index was eighty-bazillion degrees* and you needed gills to breathe. It was a whirlwind of teenage-girl-excitement, highlights listed here: A pretty cute Brazilian boy asking me for the fifteen-year-old's name saying "she's… Continue reading Wolverines are real and they don’t melt at the zoo.
No Pithy Phrase 