Tag: I’m a lucky sucker

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"Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"

Jess5 Comments

It's true, I've been watching some LeeLoo Dallas: Multipass* while packing.I forgot how much I hate moving, even if we do have weirdo neighbors. There's a lot of crying and drooling in my house (by the dogs, of course...I don't drool when I'm crying. Maybe while sleeping, but there hasn't been a lot of that… Continue reading "Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"

Furballs Run My Household
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Furballs Run My Household

Jess8 Comments

Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household

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SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

Jess3 Comments

Because who the fuck wouldn't watch a bad Saturday night movie with a flesh-eating-attack-unicorn?? People, it's goddamned genius: the ultimate symbol of innocence and purity ravaging a city with impalement carnagey death.  Somebody who's not me and can actually write scripts: get on that shit.I wonder if the Snakipeder Army could defend against Carnicorn...hmm.Also, the… Continue reading SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

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I’m Too Lazy To Write Two Posts: Cross Posting "Dear UnSubtle Gym Rat: My Crotch Is Not For You

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While I mostly keep my other blog just to track my progress in my personal self-torture adventures, tonight's fun at the gym made me chuckle when I re-read it. If you don't find it amusing, that's cool: I'm likely high on something...like muscle pain. Or idiots. Dear Unsubtle Gym Rat...

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Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.

Jess6 Comments

Last year at this time I found amusement in the various hospital oddities that I focused on while husband was in the ICU. It's really weird to think that today, one year ago, I was hanging out in a hospital room with a broken, unconscious spouse and no idea what the hell was going to… Continue reading Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.

Montana in a minute or less…
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Montana in a minute or less…

Jess2 Comments

My sister (Han's mom) got married last weekend in her fiance's dad's backyard...in Helena, Montana. There is one, count 'em ONE, direct flight from Minneapolis to Helena, which got us there at 11:30pm. No fancy mountain pictures to be had at that time of night, but Husband and I were greeted by this: I SEE… Continue reading Montana in a minute or less…

Ole!
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Ole!

Jess1 Comment

(Disclaimer: I wrote this yesterday before we actually came home, and couldn't get good enough interwebz to post it...more to come!). We're heading home tomorrow morning after a week of this:to ishy 60 degree rain. Ah well, vacation was relaxing.  And as usual there are fabulous and "really? What the fuck?" moments, such as:  Met… Continue reading Ole!

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Merida, she is NOT (a teaser-trailer for the Demented Disney Princess post)

Jess3 Comments

This is not a real post. I'm going to sunny gorgeous Cancun tomorrow for a week with the recovering husband (dude, after the horrible fall/winter we had, it's time for a fricken cocktail on the beach!). Depending on his vice-grip on the iPad, I may or may not have an opportunity to post rude pictures… Continue reading Merida, she is NOT (a teaser-trailer for the Demented Disney Princess post)

Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures
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Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

Jess3 Comments

As I'm sure you're aware (since for some reason my uterus post is the #1 read post on my blog, according to the internet gremlins who decided to count random pings from Eastern Europe as "read") I have no human babies. I have fabulous nieces and nephews whom I adore spoiling.And two excessively large canines… Continue reading Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

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This is a public service announcement, not a real post.

Jess3 Comments

So due to a PLETHORA of spamming I've been getting since January, I broke down and added stupid word verification to my comments area. Dammit. I really don't like doing that (mostly because I generally have trouble reading the fucking verification data myself and it sometimes stops me from commenting on other blogs). Pretty please… Continue reading This is a public service announcement, not a real post.