life · Writing

But…Does this EVER work for them?

Today is a bad day. So, I’m taking a moment to laugh about two horribly inept attempts at interacting I’ve received recently. Humans are fascinating creatures, you guys.

Last month, two friends and my therapist (yes, I have a therapist. I had cancer: OF COURSE I have a therapist) talked me into trying online dating. One of said friends even had a recommended platform to use (because the big three are out for me for various reasons), so I sucked it up and created a profile.

This is not a post about online dating: there are more than enough whole blogs dedicated to shitty online date interactions. This is a post about manipulation and how humans think, because it’s AMAZING.

I will say this is NOT Tinder, so I get significantly less crass messages. So far, I’ve had two instances of “does that actually WORK for you?” dude-manipulation-attempt moments, and sadly I didn’t get a response before I blocked them in either case.

The first thought after 2 quick/surface level chat conversations that I’d send him pictures (ftr he was not asking for nudes: just selfies). He got rude when I said no.

The entitlement of mediocre men who put in not even basic “get to know you” effort is AMAZING, people. AMAZING.

The second was this guy:

I can categorically say my mother would NOT be impressed by you, dude.

I have ZERO guilt about posting his user name on the internet, as this was LITERALLY the entirety of his interaction with me (how does one go from a smile to that offer in three messages?). I did respond: “Dude, I’m fascinated. Does this approach EVER work for you?” Sadly, he didn’t reply within the 1 day time frame I gave him before blocking his ass.

This sort of weirdly aggressive approach isn’t much different from some of the spam comments I get on this blog (of course, the blog comments have nothing to do with mom or any sort of sex proposition…that is not an invitation, spam bots).

This was one of my favorite blog posts in 2020. Fuck you, honey, I’m not changing my voice for anyone.

I promise, you don’t mean enough to me to jump through hoops to make you happy if this is the way you try to control me. I learned my lesson there a long time ago. If you don’t like my blog, maybe just don’t read it?

In the words of Lucas, “what’s with today, today?”

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