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Lo There Do I See My Beloved Thor

I love you, my dearest Furface. Thank you for giving me nearly 12 years of love, protection, companionship, and important lessons. You leave a crater behind, and we will miss you forever. May Valhalla be full of bunnies and cheeseburgers and snuggling and fetch, and may the gods watch over you. Don't nip Slepnir, honey -… Continue reading Lo There Do I See My Beloved Thor

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This post is nothing but random crap and makes no sense.

I think I need a do-over for the past couple of months.A mulligan.A reboot.I haven't written anything real since August. I haven't even really done any decent blog posts; my current journal has gathered more dust than ink lately; the book isn't done.The book isn't done.The motherfucking book isn't done. Sigh.I had every intention of… Continue reading This post is nothing but random crap and makes no sense.

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Groupon Offered "Junk Removal" Today. I’m Disturbed.

Then again, maybe I'm the only one who thinks of this in 12 year old terms. Of course, I also received a bunch of offers for viagra/cialis and an inappropriate offer for surprise anal. (Um, can I just say that, at least theoretically, pretty much no sexual act should be a surprise?) If I don't think about… Continue reading Groupon Offered "Junk Removal" Today. I’m Disturbed.

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An Argument for Flowers and Frivolity

So I'm not usually a flowers sort of girl. If I have a yen to have some in the house I'll often just buy some myself, and I tend to befriend (with or without a romantic relationship attached) practical, generally awesome men who insist they do not ever give flowers to anyone. OF COURSE I… Continue reading An Argument for Flowers and Frivolity

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Dear Universe: Point to You.

So, this* showed up in my mail yesterday. I am, indeed, amazed. And not un-coincidentally, I laughed the sort of cathartic, belly-wrenching, tear-streaming, choking snort-laugh that only happens when ALL THE THINGS stifled inside are suddenly and shockingly jarred loose. Those of you who reached, offering kindness and chocolate and sandbar (or alcohol bar) support,… Continue reading Dear Universe: Point to You.

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Adventures in Depression Pissed Off-Ed-Ness

Ah depressive angry insomnia, hello. It's been a long time. You're unwelcome, but since you're here...I'd like to take this midnight opportunity to rant, if I may. In the past couple of weeks I've NOT punched at least three people delivering the same flippant message under various guises: the perky cheerleader type, the concerned counselor type,… Continue reading Adventures in Depression Pissed Off-Ed-Ness

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Fortune Favors the Weird

So, I collect "interesting" fortune cookie fortunes. I don't put "in bed" on the end when I read them out loud...mostly because I've gotten some impressively awful ones over the years.If you're feeling down, try throwing yourself into your work. Or anywhere other than work, because what the fuck will make you feel LESS happy… Continue reading Fortune Favors the Weird

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3 Days in the Debauchery Den

Yesterday, I went on a tour of the Hoover Dam. The tour guide on the bus gave us all sorts of nifty Vegas facts, including the following: Las Vegas Boulevard (aka the Strip) is the lowest point of the valley. No. Doubt. So, my first time in the Sodom and Gomorrah of the United States involved only… Continue reading 3 Days in the Debauchery Den

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Saving People From The Wrong Dangers: Epic Fail, CDC.

Apparently, the CDC had to issue YET ANOTHER warning to stupid humans who have a penchant for making out with chickens. Oh no, this isn't the first time people have been warned about the dangers of kissing chickens, and that makes me a little sad for the human race. Except, maybe they'll eventually take themselves… Continue reading Saving People From The Wrong Dangers: Epic Fail, CDC.

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Be Careful What You Ask For?

Every once in a while, people who aren't COMPLETELY horrified at the stuff I think up wonder where the hell I get some of my story ideas. I had a nifty example today...While sitting in the girl-doctor's office waiting room, no less (before being mildly annoyed that my appointment was being cancelled via phone while… Continue reading Be Careful What You Ask For?