Category: Uncategorized

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THIS Surpasses "Darth Creepiness"

Jess7 Comments

Remember that time when I bought a Lego Sarlacc and put sad-faced Lego people heads on it? Because I'm disturbing and fun?Today, super cool Sarah at This Is How The Apocalypse Starts has FAR FAR surpassed my creepiness.I'm proud to know her internetness.Go read this immediately: http://apocalypsestarts.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-everyone-needs-to-have-creepy.htmlYou're welcome for the nightmares.

Furballs Run My Household
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Furballs Run My Household

Jess8 Comments

Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household

Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
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Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.

Jess7 Comments

I'm filling out paperwork for the spring bellydance sessions I teach in two community education districts, and I'm reminded of a post I did a couple of years ago about this exact topic. Original post here: http://nopithyphrase.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-bellydance-this-is-not-funny-post.htmlIn other news, "Bring Xena Back" was one of the ways people found my blog on today's stats. I'm furiously… Continue reading Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.

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Mmm…SPAM.

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You guys, my Spam adventures (not to be confused with SPAM) have expanded to Facebook messages!Dear  REDACTED ,I am very sorry for distracting your attention,I am Barrister Patrick Lawson,personal attorney to my Late Client Mr.A. REDACTED,a national of your country, Who died and left some huge amount of money  with a bank here in my… Continue reading Mmm…SPAM.

Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!
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Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!

Jess6 Comments

There are some bigass changes in the works in my house, and the next couple of months are probably going to drive me to baldness. This should not be confused with big ASS changes, which implies something is changing about my big ass. It is not currently, as I greatly enjoy Thin Mints and the… Continue reading Things Are Weird Right Now, So: DISTRACTIONS!

Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.
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Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.

Jess5 Comments

So, as of this morning:I'm broke but I can get cash in an hour!I'm an *ahem* underhung dude (or I have size self-esteem problems) but NO WORRIES: we can extend you!I'm lonely, but luckily there's both Match and eHarmony to accommodate my dating tastes.If dating with my newly enlarged junk is too painful, I can… Continue reading Point to You, Yahoo Spam Mail. Your Message Is Clear.

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It’s a Stephen King Story…In Reverse

Jess7 Comments

According to multiple news sources, a ghost ship full of rats is headed to shore.The Pied Piper is apparently returning his spoils. From Canada.I have nothing else to say about this except even if you're one of those people who have rats as pets, being overrun by ten bazillion small creatures of any type is… Continue reading It’s a Stephen King Story…In Reverse

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"Nice! I Have a Cadaver Bone in my Jaw. Stay Warm People."

Jess9 Comments

There is nothing I could possibly come up with for a title better than that.Today's text conversation between my sisters and I today.  Punctuation fixed (it's hard to punctuate on text properly!)S1: We got a new furnace finally!Me: Yay! Just in time for -0 this week. Whew!!S2: Nice! I have a cadaver bone in my… Continue reading "Nice! I Have a Cadaver Bone in my Jaw. Stay Warm People."

The Desolate One: Ephelba and Mr. Bill’s Spawn
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The Desolate One: Ephelba and Mr. Bill’s Spawn

Jess5 Comments

As it turns out, poor Samael the Starbucks Greeting Demon is unable to withstand the violent changes in Minnesota weather. Slowly but surely, he's following in Mom's (the Wicked Witch, of course) damp footsteps as we hover around 32 degrees today. Clearly, the expression on his ever-shrinking face is that of his father, Mr. Bill.… Continue reading The Desolate One: Ephelba and Mr. Bill’s Spawn

Today’s Caffine Served by Samael, The Desolate One
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Today’s Caffine Served by Samael, The Desolate One

Jess2 Comments

This morning I stopped at Starbucks, because I'm an addict and I'm not sorry I stop every morning that I go into the office (today is an office day), and this little dude greeted me:Samuel waving hello...or, screaming for help. FYI: THEY named him Samuel, not me. I would've named him Samael* The Desolate One and… Continue reading Today’s Caffine Served by Samael, The Desolate One