Tag: Family

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Phoning it in: Vengeful Turkey (again)

Jess4 Comments

It's nearly Thanksgiving and I've been considering family, things for which I'm thankful, and all that sentimental bullshit. And I'm writing NONE of it here, because I'm also busy as hell right now at home. I'll try to put a real post up over the weekend. In the meantime, something I posted originally a couple… Continue reading Phoning it in: Vengeful Turkey (again)

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Home Again. Jiggy.

Jess2 Comments

Husband was released from prison the hospital yesterday: 2 months to the date since the drunk asshole in a borrowed SUV with SHITTY INSURANCE plowed into the motorcycle...yeah, I'm not bitter at all. But he's home, he's allowed to start working with crutches, and he managed it nearly three weeks earlier than we'd originally thought.… Continue reading Home Again. Jiggy.

Random Shit: Because I Still Can’t Write A Real Post
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Random Shit: Because I Still Can’t Write A Real Post

Jess1 Comment

The weekend was a flurry of hospital time, family time (parents are heading back to California today, because they're assholes who live where it's warm), and errands. I suck at blogging lately, it's true. I spent quite a bit of time surfing facebook in the dark because Husband was napping and I couldn't turn the goddamn… Continue reading Random Shit: Because I Still Can’t Write A Real Post

Update: This was going to be a real post, but then there was an angry dog. And Bellydancing Chewbaccas.
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Update: This was going to be a real post, but then there was an angry dog. And Bellydancing Chewbaccas.

Jess2 Comments

There's a real post coming, and the next flash fiction entry for my Seven Deadly Sins project (which was sidetracked by broken pelvis scaffolding and hospitals). In the meantime: My sister is a HUGE Viking's fan. I'm not a football fan in general (although I AM quite a fan of Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, but that's… Continue reading Update: This was going to be a real post, but then there was an angry dog. And Bellydancing Chewbaccas.

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My uterus is expired, because I say so.

Jess12 Comments

This is not one of those "I must justify why I'm not having kids" posts. Mostly, because I don't generally justify my choices to anyone but Husband (because he has to gets to live with me). My impending nephew's estimated arrival is next month already. I make it sound like he's being delivered by a DHL truck or… Continue reading My uterus is expired, because I say so.

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WTF Weekend

Jess3 Comments

Friday afternoon I stopped at The Company Which Must Not Be Named (ps: I'm not allowed to talk about them per my disgustingly paltry severance agreement when I got laid off last fall). The office is on my way home, and I still have fabulous friends working there...I stopped after 4:30 on a Friday to… Continue reading WTF Weekend

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My knee is no longer jerking.

Jess1 Comment

It took me a few days to think through my reactions to the Aurora, CO shootings and NOT write a knee-jerk-reaction post. I saw much of the following (in a zillion variations) over the weekend on Twitter, Facebook, and various news outlets: 1) "Why were there children at an R-rated movie at midnight anyway?"2) "This… Continue reading My knee is no longer jerking.

Wolverines are real and they don’t melt at the zoo.
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Wolverines are real and they don’t melt at the zoo.

Jess2 Comments

Last weekend we took my cousins to Valleyfair (the local attempt at a Six Flags) and the Minnesota Zoo. Last weekend the heat index was eighty-bazillion degrees* and you needed gills to breathe. It was a whirlwind of teenage-girl-excitement, highlights listed here: A pretty cute Brazilian boy asking me for the fifteen-year-old's name saying "she's… Continue reading Wolverines are real and they don’t melt at the zoo.

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Encounters of the Weird Kind…

Jess2 Comments

Random weird shit from Girls' Weekend 2012:   I may have been mistaken for a prostitute, but I'm not sure.Dinner at Dick's Last Resort in the Mall of America, where the servers are snarky and rude...and yet pretty damn hilarious. "I ate soup" was sent by one of the men in response to a "you should sext… Continue reading Encounters of the Weird Kind…

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Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

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...until I had dogs. THOR! STOP humping your brother!Who peed on the bathroom floor?Dude...it's a buttless, headless monkey (much beloved/abused stuffed animal)...gross. Chewy, I know you have to eviscerate stuffed animals, but do you HAVE to get the guts all over the floor?Chewy, seriously, poop THEN wander around. You look retarded.DON'T STEP IN IT!! GODDAMMIT!!!NO… Continue reading Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…