Encounters of the Weird Kind…

Random weird shit from Girls’ Weekend 2012:

  •  I may have been mistaken for a prostitute, but I’m not sure.
  • Dinner at Dick’s Last Resort in the Mall of America, where the servers are snarky and rude…and yet pretty damn hilarious.
  • “I ate soup” was sent by one of the men in response to a “you should sext me” prompt.
  • Filthy sexts received during dinner by one of the girls were shared with the group. Envy and giggles commenced.
  • A possible zombie followed the group out of Starbucks on Nicollet Mall.* 
  • Discovered a neat store on 9th and Nicollet, with random curiosities and a sleepy dog.
  • Unfortunately, outside said neat store was a HORRIBLE trumpet player who repeated the same four or five notes with no semblance of melody. Even the kids walking by plugged their ears. I suspect this is what caused the dog’s obvious depression.
  • GODIVA HAS REWARDS and we all signed up. Now I get a free truffle once a month and some sort of incentive to buy more chocolate…as though any incentive is needed. Ha.
  • The importance of having a clean hole was a theme. Said in reference to someone’s teeth, which really only makes this statement sillier.
  • “I have a boat but it has flat tires.” Yeah, it was said in conversation, but I’m still baffled.
  • “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to molest you now.” Said to the pregnant girl as her belly is felt up AGAIN.
    • A pushing match ensues between the two molesters attempting to feel the baby kick. The baby was apparently sleeping or terrified, because he didn’t even wiggle, much less show alien-hand-movement in her belly.
  • We as a group are no fun, according to the smarmy man in the Homewood Suites lobby who tried to charm us into either taking him with us to a bar somewhere or, possibly, some other sort of party. His British accent was fake and he carried four bottles of water for his group, so I’m not really sure what the hell he thought he’d get out of the five of us.
  • Spent too much at Baby Gap for my impending nephew. The sales girl tried to get me to get a credit card…even though I have no spawn and told her so. Snort.

There was much laughter and wine for all (except the pregnant one, who was allowed laughing but not wine). GW was a success yet again, and the people who couldn’t make it this year were missed.

*”Zombie” was actually a man who appeared to be carrying something in his shirt and was rather confused and wandering…unsteadily. He looked like he’d been in a fight: he followed us out to the street where there are many cops and Mpls community outreach people, so even though I felt guilty for not helping, I know he was picked up and helped by professionals. He was altered, and I’m not sure what he was carrying around under his shirt so was uncomfortable stopping. I must still feel guilty if I need to justify my non-action. Sigh.

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