Someday I'm likely going to have to pay these people for the shit they come up with to entertain me during the day. Indeed, in an attempt to make me laugh inappropriately during meetings today, I received the following text messages: Z: Coworker X told me a bit ago that he would rather have sex… Continue reading UPDATED: Dirty Yodaisms and Holy Balls
Tag: I don’t know how to label this
"I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
Apparently some of those shoes/stuff/clothing "membership" sites (which are really just another way to fill your inbox with crap you'll rarely buy but are fabulous time-wasters at work) also hock discount "personal massagers." Discount sex toys. DISCOUNT.My good friend recently signed up on a clothing-membership site. For clothes. Today she said "Why am I being stalked… Continue reading "I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
I fought the Con and the Con won
Fourth of July weekend in Minnesota doesn't generally involve BBQs, beach, or patriotic shenanigans for the hubs and me: for the past decade or so we've spent every 4th at CONvergence, the best, craziest, most fucked up, weirdest gathering of people I usually see all year. It's fabulous and mental, even more so than Renaissance Festival. And… Continue reading I fought the Con and the Con won
Hot Pink "Toys" are like Toyota Camrys: Yay Rainbows!
A sample of what I consider the "best of" from my inbox in the past two weeks, all from the same group of troublemakers *ahem* fabulously inappropriate friends. These three people are the best possible present I got as a karmic reward for not losing my shit while we all worked in the same company, and luckily they kept talking… Continue reading Hot Pink "Toys" are like Toyota Camrys: Yay Rainbows!
Apple loves me. And so do random old men at the mall.
I often have odd encounters with random strangers: they like to tell me everything about their lives. I've counseled cabbies in Denver through their breakups and given sex advice to people on planes. I don't know why they tell me all their secrets, but it happens. A lot. I've never gotten a letter of devotion… Continue reading Apple loves me. And so do random old men at the mall.
Filing this under "what the hell??"
Yesterday I saw this about the Norway Mass Killer trial, and all I can say is what the hell? I don't understand the pervasive idea that someone who commits a truly disgusting, horrific, and awful crime is mentally ill. I think that is a disservice to the mentally ill and a dangerous underestimation of the criminal in question.… Continue reading Filing this under "what the hell??"
SMOTE by my own ill-timing!
Dammit!! Unicorn Fart Lip Balm is sold out, and I'd been waiting until my first payday at the new job to buy mine!! I've already asked the shop owner if I can pre-order a whole batch (since they're so ridiculously popular she sells out as soon as they get posted), because seriously...everyone should have a tube… Continue reading SMOTE by my own ill-timing!
What the hell, Wednesday?
Random shit I've encountered this week:Started a mild flame war with an idiot on the Huffington Post who thinks women should stay home and have babies "because they have breasts." No, I'm not kidding. Jack. Ass. Taught bellydance with a possibly broken toe. As it turns out my toe must not be broken, even though it's still… Continue reading What the hell, Wednesday?
No Pithy Phrase 