Today, I was coerced by a pushy coworker to PARTICIPATE in group "fun" activities. I think work fun activities should involve alcohol and the ability to watch people make idiots of themselves. Well, I suppose I got half of that. We were "festive" and made gingerbread houses. Because what's better at an insurance company than… Continue reading "Mrs. Titts" isn’t an empty title, people.
Tag: not really sexy
It IS A SNAKE DEN GODDAMMIT! (Also, Mythic Monday – The Headless Horseman)
Listen up people. A couple weeks ago I specifically asked if THIS is a snake den: .I HAVE A SNAKIPEDER IN MY GODDAMNED GARDEN!Tonight I discovered it INDEED IS...when I brought boxes out the front door and SAW the bastard's head sticking out of the hole. Do you KNOW how many holes there are in… Continue reading It IS A SNAKE DEN GODDAMMIT! (Also, Mythic Monday – The Headless Horseman)
Dear Anyone: IS THIS A SNAKE DEN??
I assure you, there's a hole there (rained last night). It's the size of a doughnut hole...2" across or so. Seriously, what the hell made this hole in my front garden?? Giant wasps? Ground gopher (that's what Husband says it is, by the way)? Giant Snakepider? Teeny-tiny Hellmouth (in which case I expect Buffy to come save… Continue reading Dear Anyone: IS THIS A SNAKE DEN??
There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…
This isn't a real post. I just had to point out something horrid. You know, I don't pay a lot of attention to fashion. My ideal of dressing up is jeans instead of yoga pants. I noticed when the '80's invaded Target: leg warmers, off-the-shoulder sweatshirts. Headbands. diagonal stripes. It was a style horror show.… Continue reading There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…
Mythic Monday: Minotaur
Tonight's post is brought to you by request of a certain super awesome security dude/friend/geek extraordinaire. We're going back to Greek mythology tonight for one of the most iconic monsters ever. The Minotaur. I love this myth, because it's full of tragedy, horror, evil, physically improbable impregnation, and ultimately I can't help but root for… Continue reading Mythic Monday: Minotaur
Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.
In case you haven't seen her recent post, The Bloggess did an excellently fun TBT yesterday. http://thebloggess.com/2014/05/throwback-thursday-google-knows-me-a-little-too-well/And because it IS hilarious, I looked up "Jess" on Googlism this morning. Of the long list of random shit, my favorites: "Jess is the coolest girl in the world." Fucking duh, Google."Jess is trying to go back to… Continue reading Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.
Moving proves feet can scream (so can that weird curve in your hand that connects your thumb to pointer finger).
I have a neat spot in my hand where the skin just decided "dude, I'm done with you" and split. Just...split. Thanks a lot, skin. Also: you guys, someone found my blog by searching "do they share spouses at renaissance festivals." I have a long list of things to blog about, including (but not limited… Continue reading Moving proves feet can scream (so can that weird curve in your hand that connects your thumb to pointer finger).
Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
In the past couple of weeks we've packed up all our shit, loaded two very anxious dogs into the back of the truck, and caravanned ourselves from Minnesota to Texas. Between the job I started the Monday after we got here and the living in-between-houses situation, I couldn't get my blog updated since we left.… Continue reading Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
Furballs Run My Household
Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household
Today’s Caffine Served by Samael, The Desolate One
This morning I stopped at Starbucks, because I'm an addict and I'm not sorry I stop every morning that I go into the office (today is an office day), and this little dude greeted me:Samuel waving hello...or, screaming for help. FYI: THEY named him Samuel, not me. I would've named him Samael* The Desolate One and… Continue reading Today’s Caffine Served by Samael, The Desolate One
No Pithy Phrase 