So I live in the Land Spring Forgot. Let's just get that out of the way: it's April something-teen and we're in the middle of yet another "shnit" storm (that would be Husband's word for the rain/sleet/snow shit that's currently coating the ground, and more importantly the roads, in a layer of slushy icy crap).… Continue reading No, no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s "whOOre"
Author: Jess
Amateur historian, mythology enthusiast, writer, reader, sarcastic weirdo, cancer survivor. Author of Defying Shadows: For Witches and Pagans Battling Cancer and Chronic Illness.
It was a Shark-Sarlacc…Sharklacc!
Last night I woke up seven times from nightmares. SEVEN TIMES. Sigh. Who needs sleep, after all, when you can lie in bed and contemplate the ramifications of being swallowed whole by anything with stomach acid? The first, and most vivid, is too fucked up to even attempt to psychoanalyze. But hey, if you have… Continue reading It was a Shark-Sarlacc…Sharklacc!
I am unamusing. You can skip this post.
I think I lost a close friend last week. Not in a sock drawer or to circus. Not to any nefarious creature or mob hit: just lost him. Stubbornness may have been involved. And temper. I'm sure you're shocked and astounded that my temper would successfully push someone away. I am decidedly not shocked. Nor… Continue reading I am unamusing. You can skip this post.
This is not a corpse speaking…no really, I’m somewhat alive.
I've been offline quite a bit lately working on FINALLY finishing my first book (rough draft only). I'm not done, but I'm not dead. Yet.I figure I need to finish, because my excellent friend Sarah did a Tarot reading for me recently that was essentially a GIANT COSMIC WARNING that I'm "excessively fertile." I suppose it… Continue reading This is not a corpse speaking…no really, I’m somewhat alive.
UPDATED: It’s like a divining rod for cosmic lost socks…
I was informed this afternoon that the 'lady occultist' in the Duluth Skywalk NOW offers "paranormal investigation" along with "soul retrieval." I am thoroughly intrigued. How exactly does one retrieve a soul? Perhaps more importantly, how exactly does one LOSE* a soul? Is it like doing the laundry and the washer/dryer eats a sock? "Oops,… Continue reading UPDATED: It’s like a divining rod for cosmic lost socks…
Cancer is more important than duckface.
I found this today via CNN.com, and I'm so very impressed and inspired I had to share. This kid found a 100% accurate (via blind testing on a human population) test to detect pancreatic, ovarian, and lung cancers. Pancreatic and Ovarian cancers are (per my gyno) difficult if not impossible to detect early, which makes… Continue reading Cancer is more important than duckface.
Because I find weird shit in every corner of the country, that’s why.
I spent a whirlwind weekend in the Olympic Peninsula of Washington. True to form, I saw cool and fucked up shit. THIS ISN'T KANSAS!!*Actually, I have no idea whether there are assless chaps in Kansas. Don't assless chaps exist everywhere now? I didn't expect this hanging next to my head over the breakfast table,… Continue reading Because I find weird shit in every corner of the country, that’s why.
This is a public service announcement, not a real post.
So due to a PLETHORA of spamming I've been getting since January, I broke down and added stupid word verification to my comments area. Dammit. I really don't like doing that (mostly because I generally have trouble reading the fucking verification data myself and it sometimes stops me from commenting on other blogs). Pretty please… Continue reading This is a public service announcement, not a real post.
These are not the turtles you’re looking for. Move along.
Someone found my blog by searching "gerard butler and the house of unicorns" which I can only assume is some sort of pre-"hitting-it-big" porn. Hmm. Excuse me while I surf the interwebz. In other news, motorcycle accidents suck. Insurance companies suck. Lawsuits suck. And for some reason. lawyers seem to think they're entitled to information… Continue reading These are not the turtles you’re looking for. Move along.
Yes Medusa, my hair IS trying to kill me (or: You won’t like it when it’s ANGRY)
The past few days have been a rollercoaster. Did you know I'm horridly susceptible to motion sickness? I wonder if I can get a prescription for an emotional-Dramamine-patch...So, the highs and lows in my fucked up universe in a 72 hour period: Had enough frequent flier miles to visit one of my most favoritest people on the… Continue reading Yes Medusa, my hair IS trying to kill me (or: You won’t like it when it’s ANGRY)
No Pithy Phrase 