Juice boxes for adults. I'd like a case, please. So, man gets hit by drunk fuck assmonkey and nearly croaks. Man recovers, decides life's way too short to continue doing what he's been doing (just getting by) and wants to follow his passions. Man also sick as fuck about the frozen tundra's endless miserable winter. Man finds the only… Continue reading Dear Minnesota: Buh-Bye Then!
Category: Uncategorized
The Stealthy Snakipeder Army.
The snow is finally (mostly) gone in my yard, and what's left is just the ghostly evidence of the Snakipeder invasion. The dogs attempted valiantly to reduce their numbers over the winter: digging furiously and pouncing like giant (and unwieldy) cats on invisible critters beneath the snowpack.There was a whole goddamn BASE of them in the… Continue reading The Stealthy Snakipeder Army.
Monday is for…Face-Rending Owl Muppets
To begin your week, I give you True Facts About The Owl.Because they disguise themselves as Muppets.Thank you to my friend Angie over at Is This Where You Want to be When Raptor Jesus Comes? for referring me to zefrank1 at YouTube. I now follow this dude, because I CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/XeFxdkaFzRA&source=udsIt's as good as Chewbacca… Continue reading Monday is for…Face-Rending Owl Muppets
Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
Today, nestled in the innocuous Groupon email offers for tasty dinners, pedicures, and odd products, there was a super awesome opportunity for cheap Skydiving.Let's not focus on how I'd rather pay full price for a death-defying activity for now. I'm not against skydiving: I'd be interested except I'd barf on the poor tandem person I'm… Continue reading Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
I’m Stuck in Post-Vacation, Post-New-Book Blahs…
You know that feeling? The one where you FINALLY get the second book in a series you like so much you'll ignore everything to read it (everything = eating, sex, feeding the dogs, showering, sleeping, working, oh shit was that a husband who just walked by? I'm not sure...I'm utterly lost in a different world)?Yeah. So… Continue reading I’m Stuck in Post-Vacation, Post-New-Book Blahs…
Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.
I'm amused that some of my labels increase the Russian and Eastern European traffic exponentially. Since said labels are "This Isn't Porn" and "These Are Not the Penises You're Looking For" I'd say they're not reading closely enough...after all, I think it's pretty goddamned clear. So hello, all you porn-surfing-peeps who accidentally arrived at my… Continue reading Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.
THIS Surpasses "Darth Creepiness"
Remember that time when I bought a Lego Sarlacc and put sad-faced Lego people heads on it? Because I'm disturbing and fun?Today, super cool Sarah at This Is How The Apocalypse Starts has FAR FAR surpassed my creepiness.I'm proud to know her internetness.Go read this immediately: http://apocalypsestarts.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-everyone-needs-to-have-creepy.htmlYou're welcome for the nightmares.
Furballs Run My Household
Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household
Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
I'm filling out paperwork for the spring bellydance sessions I teach in two community education districts, and I'm reminded of a post I did a couple of years ago about this exact topic. Original post here: http://nopithyphrase.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-bellydance-this-is-not-funny-post.htmlIn other news, "Bring Xena Back" was one of the ways people found my blog on today's stats. I'm furiously… Continue reading Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
Mmm…SPAM.
You guys, my Spam adventures (not to be confused with SPAM) have expanded to Facebook messages!Dear REDACTED ,I am very sorry for distracting your attention,I am Barrister Patrick Lawson,personal attorney to my Late Client Mr.A. REDACTED,a national of your country, Who died and left some huge amount of money with a bank here in my… Continue reading Mmm…SPAM.
No Pithy Phrase 