So I have a (perhaps foolish) goal to submit at least two pieces of writing every month for publication this year. Yeah, yeah, I know...but it's not a sparkler-and-champagne induced resolution thing like losing weight or some other random general "goal." I'd like to say I have a really specific goal, such as writing 1k words… Continue reading I Dub Thee "Herman the Moulien"* (pronunciation updated)
Tag: I’m a lucky sucker
Oh Skymall…you dirty dirty bird…
I went home (to the tundra) last weekend. It was an adventure. First, I was hit on by the dude next to me, Chad from downtown Minneapolis, on the plane. Chad insisted I'm 10 years younger than I am. Score.For me. He did not score. Bummer for you, Chad, but you were quite charming and I… Continue reading Oh Skymall…you dirty dirty bird…
I have no good title for this…It’s an anniversary of sorts.
It's been two years this weekend since Husband and a friend were on his motorcycle when they were schmucked by a drunk asshole. I say schmucked because said drunk asshole was going about 45mph and didn't slow down. At all. He pinned Husband's leg between the truck and the bike, breaking his pelvis in two… Continue reading I have no good title for this…It’s an anniversary of sorts.
Nighmares At The Museum…Or, Ways To Feel Lucky I’m Still Alive
This isn't a real post: it's a bunch of pics from our trip to the Houston Museum of Natural Science for my birthday (because the MAGNA CARTA was there, people, and nothing makes my geeky medieval heart beat quite as fast as a piece of parchment that was written in 1217). After I stopped drooling… Continue reading Nighmares At The Museum…Or, Ways To Feel Lucky I’m Still Alive
Nothing Makes My Day Quite Like Han
Last week was filled with extremes of both joy and misery for me. I am reminded that I can only fix things I have control over, and I only have control over my own motivations and reactions. In the midst of the emotional roller coaster, I received the following set of pictures.We are celebrating the arrival of Han's brand spankin'… Continue reading Nothing Makes My Day Quite Like Han
Filed Under "What The HELL, Texas?"
See the smoke and the Firefighters? They're putting out a truck fire. What's left of the truck. Hi Firemen!So yesterday I was on the way back from Galveston to Houston on the freeway, when my super awesome friend Mary (she's driving) pulled off on an exit ramp because HOLY SHIT FIRE and smoke...which causes traffic.… Continue reading Filed Under "What The HELL, Texas?"
We’d Gladly Eat YOU, You Know…
The boys are convinced they're starving and totally unimpressed that I left them outside until AFTER their water and food bowls were filled.I tried to get the licking-of-the-chops picture, but they were uncooperative. Hey, is that water? I'm hungry. Can we come in now? Fuck you. We're not doing the super creepy staring-while-licking-our-chops thing. NONCHALANT!They're… Continue reading We’d Gladly Eat YOU, You Know…
Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.
In case you haven't seen her recent post, The Bloggess did an excellently fun TBT yesterday. http://thebloggess.com/2014/05/throwback-thursday-google-knows-me-a-little-too-well/And because it IS hilarious, I looked up "Jess" on Googlism this morning. Of the long list of random shit, my favorites: "Jess is the coolest girl in the world." Fucking duh, Google."Jess is trying to go back to… Continue reading Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.
All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Things I've learned since moving to Texas: I have an accent. I am amused. Ya. Youbetcha.Kolaches. Look them up: they are not a sneeze, despite what you may be thinking. Weird...but I'm planning to try the bacon/egg/cheese version. Someone explain to me WHAT THE FUCK SKITTERED across my bathroom floor at 3am? 3am is the… Continue reading All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
In the past couple of weeks we've packed up all our shit, loaded two very anxious dogs into the back of the truck, and caravanned ourselves from Minnesota to Texas. Between the job I started the Monday after we got here and the living in-between-houses situation, I couldn't get my blog updated since we left.… Continue reading Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
No Pithy Phrase 