There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…

This isn’t a real post. I just had to point out something horrid.

You know, I don’t pay a lot of attention to fashion. My ideal of dressing up is jeans instead of yoga pants.

I noticed when the ’80’s invaded Target: leg warmers, off-the-shoulder sweatshirts. Headbands. diagonal stripes.

It was a style horror show.

But REALLY? Jumpsuits are back? Jumpsuits with TUBE TOPS are back? Seriously, that wasn’t sexy the first time. Tube tops aren’t sexy: they’re 80’s uniboob. And jumpsuits just seem dangerous to a woman with a small bladder, since I assume they don’t come with the pee-flap (despite their resemblance to 1885 long underwear). I shouldn’t have to get naked to pee.

Black and white paisley tube top jumpsuit…on a 6′ tall amazon.

On second thought, maybe I could make it one of those long-sleeved shrug things for my shoulders. 

PS: Blogger doesn’t accept “uniboob” is a real thing. I beg to differ, Blogger: anyone with a C cup or larger who’s squeezed into a sports bra knows the uniboob.

1 thought on “There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…”

  1. I did security at a wedding at MRF Saturday. There was a more curvy woman on the dance floor, whom was well endowed, but she was wearing a dress that was strapless and sleeveless. Tiny and I were amazed at how she defied the laws of gravity and physics and did not pop out of her dress….

    Like

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