"Because Beelzabub touched my W-2. That’s why."

February 8, 2013 Jess5 Comments

In the news today I found an article the perfectly describes why I have no patience for stupid. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. As a non-Christian, I'm 100% certain I would not survive well in the deep south, even though I don't generally advertise my beliefs nor do I dispute anyone else's. But… Continue reading "Because Beelzabub touched my W-2. That’s why."

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I don’t have a problem…

February 4, 2013 Jess2 Comments

In follow up to my post extolling the remarkable awesomeness of Cait's present, I need to point out the awesomeness of Zack. Who gave me a Witchking helmet ring, a knitted "zombie" coffee cozy, and this: To be hung in my library/office. As a warning? Or an explanation... Indeed, it IS perfect for me.… Continue reading I don’t have a problem…

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Indeed, you WON’T like me when I’m angry.

October 12, 2012 Jess6 Comments

The boys are pissed of this week. I can tell. The carpet by the upstairs bathroom has a brand-new-pee-spot EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT. They're so mad, they're not even peeing on the tile. Do you have any idea how much urine a 100 or 145 pound dog carries? A. Lot. Sigh. I may be the… Continue reading Indeed, you WON’T like me when I’m angry.

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My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.

August 24, 2012 Jess1 Comment

In case you were wondering, Thor wouldn't allow me to put the "Happy Fucking Birthday" hat on him. Apparently he has more pride than Chewy, who allowed it but only with a cranky face. This is not the same cranky face I get when it's time for nail clipping, ear cleaning, or bathing...but it's close.… Continue reading My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.

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Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

June 14, 2012 JessLeave a comment

...until I had dogs. THOR! STOP humping your brother!Who peed on the bathroom floor?Dude...it's a buttless, headless monkey (much beloved/abused stuffed animal)...gross. Chewy, I know you have to eviscerate stuffed animals, but do you HAVE to get the guts all over the floor?Chewy, seriously, poop THEN wander around. You look retarded.DON'T STEP IN IT!! GODDAMMIT!!!NO… Continue reading Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

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Chewy: Exhausted Hoarder

May 29, 2012 JessLeave a comment

Chewy waited until Thor wasn't looking, stole the much-abused tennis ball, and climbed to his normal spot on the couch. Where he promptly fell asleep, apparently exhausted from his efforts to again thieve toys from his brother. Later he snored loud enough to wake himself up. Startled, he dropped the ball, barked incessantly, and searched… Continue reading Chewy: Exhausted Hoarder