In case you haven't seen her recent post, The Bloggess did an excellently fun TBT yesterday. http://thebloggess.com/2014/05/throwback-thursday-google-knows-me-a-little-too-well/And because it IS hilarious, I looked up "Jess" on Googlism this morning. Of the long list of random shit, my favorites: "Jess is the coolest girl in the world." Fucking duh, Google."Jess is trying to go back to… Continue reading Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.
Tag: I’m a lucky sucker
All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Things I've learned since moving to Texas: I have an accent. I am amused. Ya. Youbetcha.Kolaches. Look them up: they are not a sneeze, despite what you may be thinking. Weird...but I'm planning to try the bacon/egg/cheese version. Someone explain to me WHAT THE FUCK SKITTERED across my bathroom floor at 3am? 3am is the… Continue reading All Your Blinkers Are Useless Here.
Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
In the past couple of weeks we've packed up all our shit, loaded two very anxious dogs into the back of the truck, and caravanned ourselves from Minnesota to Texas. Between the job I started the Monday after we got here and the living in-between-houses situation, I couldn't get my blog updated since we left.… Continue reading Indeed, I’m not dead. I just feel that way.
"Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"
It's true, I've been watching some LeeLoo Dallas: Multipass* while packing.I forgot how much I hate moving, even if we do have weirdo neighbors. There's a lot of crying and drooling in my house (by the dogs, of course...I don't drool when I'm crying. Maybe while sleeping, but there hasn't been a lot of that… Continue reading "Negative, I Am A Meat Popsicle"
Furballs Run My Household
Shit I've said to the dogs in the past week:But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...Stop licking your feet. NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there. DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.… Continue reading Furballs Run My Household
SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!
Because who the fuck wouldn't watch a bad Saturday night movie with a flesh-eating-attack-unicorn?? People, it's goddamned genius: the ultimate symbol of innocence and purity ravaging a city with impalement carnagey death. Somebody who's not me and can actually write scripts: get on that shit.I wonder if the Snakipeder Army could defend against Carnicorn...hmm.Also, the… Continue reading SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!
I’m Too Lazy To Write Two Posts: Cross Posting "Dear UnSubtle Gym Rat: My Crotch Is Not For You
While I mostly keep my other blog just to track my progress in my personal self-torture adventures, tonight's fun at the gym made me chuckle when I re-read it. If you don't find it amusing, that's cool: I'm likely high on something...like muscle pain. Or idiots. Dear Unsubtle Gym Rat...
Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.
Last year at this time I found amusement in the various hospital oddities that I focused on while husband was in the ICU. It's really weird to think that today, one year ago, I was hanging out in a hospital room with a broken, unconscious spouse and no idea what the hell was going to… Continue reading Renaissance Festival and Alcohol: A Perfect Storm of Fools.
Montana in a minute or less…
My sister (Han's mom) got married last weekend in her fiance's dad's backyard...in Helena, Montana. There is one, count 'em ONE, direct flight from Minneapolis to Helena, which got us there at 11:30pm. No fancy mountain pictures to be had at that time of night, but Husband and I were greeted by this: I SEE… Continue reading Montana in a minute or less…
Ole!
(Disclaimer: I wrote this yesterday before we actually came home, and couldn't get good enough interwebz to post it...more to come!). We're heading home tomorrow morning after a week of this:to ishy 60 degree rain. Ah well, vacation was relaxing. And as usual there are fabulous and "really? What the fuck?" moments, such as: Met… Continue reading Ole!
No Pithy Phrase 