I don't have enough of one topic for a funny post tonight, but I have a bunch of weird episodes from the past few days I thought I'd share. Earlier this week, I found the following in my cube garbage can at work: But WHY is this even a question?WHAT THE FUCK does any of that mean?… Continue reading No, I Don’t Know Why Either.
Tag: these are not the penises you’re looking for
What the HELL is in my tree??
In true Texas fashion I've discovered a new horror in my backyard. What the fuck IS THIS???? I plan on spraying wasp killer on it tonight, in hopes it kills the dancing worm things inside (which move in unison, by the way, because that's not creepy as fuck AT ALL). This state is going to kill me.
UPDATED: Why Yes, I DO Prefer Non-Test-Tube Men, Thanks
Sign on my way to work this morning:Homemade males*Now I'm 99% certain the males in my life of all species in all capacities are 100% homemade by their parents. No plastic Ken dolls here, and no test tube or clones. Of course, one can never be certain the body snatchers or Stepford scientists haven't been… Continue reading UPDATED: Why Yes, I DO Prefer Non-Test-Tube Men, Thanks
There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…
This isn't a real post. I just had to point out something horrid. You know, I don't pay a lot of attention to fashion. My ideal of dressing up is jeans instead of yoga pants. I noticed when the '80's invaded Target: leg warmers, off-the-shoulder sweatshirts. Headbands. diagonal stripes. It was a style horror show.… Continue reading There Aren’t Enough Spanx In The World…
Excuse Me, I’ll Be Hiding Until This Is Over…
Mercury is in Retrograde.This Friday is the 13th. AND A FULL MOON over the weekend. People, I greatly enjoy astrology for entertainment, but I'm telling you...something is rotten in the month of June. With all the crap going on with the rental house (let me just say WOW, in the most horrified sort of tone, to… Continue reading Excuse Me, I’ll Be Hiding Until This Is Over…
Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
Today, nestled in the innocuous Groupon email offers for tasty dinners, pedicures, and odd products, there was a super awesome opportunity for cheap Skydiving.Let's not focus on how I'd rather pay full price for a death-defying activity for now. I'm not against skydiving: I'd be interested except I'd barf on the poor tandem person I'm… Continue reading Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin
Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.
I'm amused that some of my labels increase the Russian and Eastern European traffic exponentially. Since said labels are "This Isn't Porn" and "These Are Not the Penises You're Looking For" I'd say they're not reading closely enough...after all, I think it's pretty goddamned clear. So hello, all you porn-surfing-peeps who accidentally arrived at my… Continue reading Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.
Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
I'm filling out paperwork for the spring bellydance sessions I teach in two community education districts, and I'm reminded of a post I did a couple of years ago about this exact topic. Original post here: http://nopithyphrase.blogspot.com/2012/07/why-i-bellydance-this-is-not-funny-post.htmlIn other news, "Bring Xena Back" was one of the ways people found my blog on today's stats. I'm furiously… Continue reading Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated.
The Desolate One: Ephelba and Mr. Bill’s Spawn
As it turns out, poor Samael the Starbucks Greeting Demon is unable to withstand the violent changes in Minnesota weather. Slowly but surely, he's following in Mom's (the Wicked Witch, of course) damp footsteps as we hover around 32 degrees today. Clearly, the expression on his ever-shrinking face is that of his father, Mr. Bill.… Continue reading The Desolate One: Ephelba and Mr. Bill’s Spawn
Dear Yahoo Mail: There Are No Snakes In My Pants.
This isn't a real post...just a moment of amusement.Today's winning Spam email (and by "winning" I mean most ridiculously humorous)?"Replace your pant snake with a PYTHON" by Pharmacy Online.Thank you, Pharmacy Online, but as I have no snakes in my pants and I have somewhat of a phobia of Snakes, Snakipeders, and other creatures...I TRULY… Continue reading Dear Yahoo Mail: There Are No Snakes In My Pants.
No Pithy Phrase 