Hot man, Scottish accent, AND coffee? Yes.So I'm quite sick of the stupid "if you love her, buy her THESE diamonds" holiday commercials, and unfortunately they'll just keep getting MORE annoying until 1) the apocalypse on 12/21 kills the power or 2) Valentine's Day is blessedly behind us. So, let's discuss REAL romance, shall… Continue reading UPDATED: Romantic Lazypantsness: It’s a technical term.
Tag: these are not the penises you’re looking for
CLIMB INTO THE HANDBASKET…and hang the hell on.
If you're wondering, I'm TOTALLY using that title for my as-yet-ill-conceived memoir. That's right: "climb into the handbasket" was one of the many fucked-up ways people found this blog. Here are a few others: "i'm in love with my same sex therapist" - I'm fairly certain I've never blogged about this. Should I ever I'll… Continue reading CLIMB INTO THE HANDBASKET…and hang the hell on.
"What’s with TODAY, today?"
I have nothing for a real post today. That's a lie. I could probably entertain someone with some random stream-of-consciousness-crap that bounces around like a superball on speed in my cranium. However, I am lazy. And it's election day (NO MORE Romney supporter calls to my house: yay!!). And therefore I give you the posts… Continue reading "What’s with TODAY, today?"
Groupon is making me fat…and other random crap
My time in the hospital inappropriately jump-started a new diet plan (hey, I lost 12 pounds in that first two weeks and it's stayed off...might as well get SOMETHING good out of this shit!). I find the following Groupon really annoying, now that I'm making a conscious effort to eat better and do some sort… Continue reading Groupon is making me fat…and other random crap
UPDATED AGAIN (WTF?): Um, That’s MRS. Titts, Actually.
Once again it's nearly time for the MN Renaissance Festival to begin. I've worked at Fest now for twelve years. I've been a t-shirt-and-mug-pusher, a beer wench, a balloon blower, a calligrapher, a gate guard, and even an entire BAND for the bellydancers (that's right, I OWNED running that ipod, bitches).And still after all that… Continue reading UPDATED AGAIN (WTF?): Um, That’s MRS. Titts, Actually.
I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
This post is likely ok for work, but not safe for prudes or children. If you're either, go away.I'm an introvert.If you're a Meyers Briggs aficionado, I'm usually an INFP...meaning I'm an introverted intuitive feeling perceptor (I don't remember what the N means, and I'm too lazy to look it up). What the fuck does that… Continue reading I’m not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV)
"I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
Apparently some of those shoes/stuff/clothing "membership" sites (which are really just another way to fill your inbox with crap you'll rarely buy but are fabulous time-wasters at work) also hock discount "personal massagers." Discount sex toys. DISCOUNT.My good friend recently signed up on a clothing-membership site. For clothes. Today she said "Why am I being stalked… Continue reading "I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."
I fought the Con and the Con won
Fourth of July weekend in Minnesota doesn't generally involve BBQs, beach, or patriotic shenanigans for the hubs and me: for the past decade or so we've spent every 4th at CONvergence, the best, craziest, most fucked up, weirdest gathering of people I usually see all year. It's fabulous and mental, even more so than Renaissance Festival. And… Continue reading I fought the Con and the Con won
Hot Pink "Toys" are like Toyota Camrys: Yay Rainbows!
A sample of what I consider the "best of" from my inbox in the past two weeks, all from the same group of troublemakers *ahem* fabulously inappropriate friends. These three people are the best possible present I got as a karmic reward for not losing my shit while we all worked in the same company, and luckily they kept talking… Continue reading Hot Pink "Toys" are like Toyota Camrys: Yay Rainbows!
Apple loves me. And so do random old men at the mall.
I often have odd encounters with random strangers: they like to tell me everything about their lives. I've counseled cabbies in Denver through their breakups and given sex advice to people on planes. I don't know why they tell me all their secrets, but it happens. A lot. I've never gotten a letter of devotion… Continue reading Apple loves me. And so do random old men at the mall.
No Pithy Phrase 