Today's Spamalicious Hump Day offerings from Yahoo include eight offers of various sorts of encounter with chicks I don't know. I deleted two of them for offering explicit acts...not because I'm a prude: because I probably don't want people finding my blog as a search result for them. Sigh. Also, can I just say, Stiffler was 1999.… Continue reading It Must Be Wednesday – Yahoo Thinks I’m a Rich Frat Boy
Every once in a while, people who aren't COMPLETELY horrified at the stuff I think up wonder where the hell I get some of my story ideas. I had a nifty example today...While sitting in the girl-doctor's office waiting room, no less (before being mildly annoyed that my appointment was being cancelled via phone while… Continue reading Be Careful What You Ask For?
I watch the Triple Crown every year...from the no-hat-required, jeans-friendly couch in my house. My family texts off and on all day before the Kentucky Derby: after all, for those of us in Minnesota the Derby is the last sign that winter is truly over, because horse racing season has begun. It's similar to Winter/Construction… Continue reading Why I Can’t Ever Attend the Kentucky Derby
Today's most fabulous headlines from various news sources: Scientists Have Created A Fuel Cell That Runs On Pee - I suppose I should be glad it doesn't run on farts. Does it have to be human pee? Yes, You Can Rent Out Your Eye Socket For Money - Well...hmm. Amusingly, this headline was immediately beneath the pee-cell article.… Continue reading Eyesockets and Pee-Batteries (alternatively titled: WTF Headlines)
I have no point in this post, other than to share a thing or five I noticed today that weirded me out. First, let's talk about sperm whales. Because the tale of the Essex is now in theaters and of course the whale is the villain. My thoughts about the story of the Essex aren't about… Continue reading Random Weird and Adolescent Humor
This should be filed under "yup, she's disturbed and thinks weird dark things" and you're welcome to ignore this post if horror isn't your gig. Or horror humor. Or really fucked up thought processes resulting in inappropriate innuendo. Yes, yes, I know it's early to be thinking about Poe and Lovecraft...it's still August, after all. But… Continue reading The Old Ones…or…Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed In Public
You guys, my Spam adventures (not to be confused with SPAM) have expanded to Facebook messages!Dear REDACTED ,I am very sorry for distracting your attention,I am Barrister Patrick Lawson,personal attorney to my Late Client Mr.A. REDACTED,a national of your country, Who died and left some huge amount of money with a bank here in my… Continue reading Mmm…SPAM.
Remember how everyone tells me their sex and relationship issues? Did you know my husband is moving to Texas for 11 months next year for school (I am not, for financial and practical reasons...meaning, I'd like to keep my job until I get to the point they'll let me work from home full time, I… Continue reading And So, I Embrace Google’s Opinion Me
So I live in the Land Spring Forgot. Let's just get that out of the way: it's April something-teen and we're in the middle of yet another "shnit" storm (that would be Husband's word for the rain/sleet/snow shit that's currently coating the ground, and more importantly the roads, in a layer of slushy icy crap).… Continue reading No, no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s "whOOre"
I was informed this afternoon that the 'lady occultist' in the Duluth Skywalk NOW offers "paranormal investigation" along with "soul retrieval." I am thoroughly intrigued. How exactly does one retrieve a soul? Perhaps more importantly, how exactly does one LOSE* a soul? Is it like doing the laundry and the washer/dryer eats a sock? "Oops,… Continue reading UPDATED: It’s like a divining rod for cosmic lost socks…