Tag: Chewmungus

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SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

Jess3 Comments

Because who the fuck wouldn't watch a bad Saturday night movie with a flesh-eating-attack-unicorn?? People, it's goddamned genius: the ultimate symbol of innocence and purity ravaging a city with impalement carnagey death.  Somebody who's not me and can actually write scripts: get on that shit.I wonder if the Snakipeder Army could defend against Carnicorn...hmm.Also, the… Continue reading SyFy’s Next Sharknado: CARNICORN!

Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures
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Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

Jess3 Comments

As I'm sure you're aware (since for some reason my uterus post is the #1 read post on my blog, according to the internet gremlins who decided to count random pings from Eastern Europe as "read") I have no human babies. I have fabulous nieces and nephews whom I adore spoiling.And two excessively large canines… Continue reading Carpet Pooping…and Other Canine Adventures

I don’t have a problem…
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I don’t have a problem…

Jess2 Comments

In follow up to my post extolling the remarkable awesomeness of Cait's present, I need to point out the awesomeness of Zack. Who gave me a Witchking helmet ring, a knitted "zombie" coffee cozy, and this:  To be hung in my library/office. As a warning? Or an explanation... Indeed, it IS perfect for me.… Continue reading I don’t have a problem…

Indeed, you WON’T like me when I’m angry.
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Indeed, you WON’T like me when I’m angry.

Jess6 Comments

The boys are pissed of this week. I can tell. The carpet by the upstairs bathroom has a brand-new-pee-spot EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT. They're so mad, they're not even peeing on the tile. Do you have any idea how much urine a 100 or 145 pound dog carries? A. Lot. Sigh.  I may be the… Continue reading Indeed, you WON’T like me when I’m angry.

My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.
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My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.

Jess1 Comment

In case you were wondering, Thor wouldn't allow me to put the "Happy Fucking Birthday" hat on him. Apparently he has more pride than Chewy, who allowed it but only with a cranky face. This is not the same cranky face I get when it's time for nail clipping, ear cleaning, or bathing...but it's close.… Continue reading My Dogs: Too Lazy To Rip Each Other’s Faces Off.

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Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

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...until I had dogs. THOR! STOP humping your brother!Who peed on the bathroom floor?Dude...it's a buttless, headless monkey (much beloved/abused stuffed animal)...gross. Chewy, I know you have to eviscerate stuffed animals, but do you HAVE to get the guts all over the floor?Chewy, seriously, poop THEN wander around. You look retarded.DON'T STEP IN IT!! GODDAMMIT!!!NO… Continue reading Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud…

Chewy: Exhausted Hoarder
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Chewy: Exhausted Hoarder

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Chewy waited until Thor wasn't looking, stole the much-abused tennis ball, and climbed to his normal spot on the couch. Where he promptly fell asleep, apparently exhausted from his efforts to again thieve toys from his brother. Later he snored loud enough to wake himself up. Startled, he dropped the ball, barked incessantly, and searched… Continue reading Chewy: Exhausted Hoarder